Page 45 of The Art of Drowning

That thought gave me pause, and I had to think if I actually gave a shit about the timing of our reunion. And I found that I didn’t. Callum and I were always going to be together. Our reunion was an inevitability. One way or another, I had to believe that we’d always have made our way back to each other.

I didn’t want Callum to know I was coming, because if I didn’t tell him, he couldn’t say no. He couldn’t try and talk me out of it. I didn’t have his exact address, but he’d told me about where he lived, about the street he was on and once I got there, I’d improvise.

On the other end of the line, Callum yawned. He’d confessed that he hadn’t been sleeping well since the funeral.

“Why don’t you call it a night?” I told him even as I slipped my shoes on and grabbed my wallet.

“It’s so early, though.”

“But you’re exhausted. You should try to get some rest. We can talk later, I promise. I’m not going anywhere.” That was a lie because I was going to him, whether he wanted me there or not. I couldn’t be without him another day. My body ached for him. My mind couldn’t focus on anything else. He was always on my mind and trying to stay away was torture. Stupid, senseless torture.

After another jaw-cracking yawn, Callum relented. “Okay. Okay, I’ll try,” he said.

“Good boy. Text me if you wake up and can’t get back to sleep. I’ll keep you company.” I wanted to end the call by telling him I loved him, but I didn’t feel like we’d earned the right to say those words again yet. And Callum must have agreed because he didn’t say them either.

“I will,” he promised.

The line went dead. The call ended and I grabbed a jacket and stepped out the front door, locking it behind me. On my way out of town, I stopped for gas and grabbed a coffee. I didn’t tell Bowie what I was up to because I didn’t want him to tell me to be careful. I didn’t want him to judge me for being stupidly, madly in love with a man that I hadn’t seen in years.

I didn’t want him to prod me to read the stupid fucking letter that was in my glovebox still. I almost threw it away at the gas station but thought better of it. I left it where it was, and it could stay there. I’d only open mine if Callum opened his. Maybe not even then.

Sam had years to say shit to me, so I wasn’t in that much of a hurry to hear him out from the great beyond. If he didn’t like it, he could haunt my ass.

The drive was quiet, and I felt peaceful in a way I hadn’t felt in years. Maybe ever. I was on my way to see Callum, and there was no sneaking around behind anyone’s back to do it. The traffic was light at this time of night, and I kept the music low enough for me to hear my off-key voice singing along.

The night held a sense of rightness. For once, I didn’t second-guess myself. I didn’t wonder if what I was doing was smart. Callum needed me, and I needed him right back, and staying away now seemed stupid.

If he told me to leave, I’d go, but I knew he wouldn’t.

Once I got to the city, it took me a minute to find Callum’s neighborhood. Once I did, I found his street. I pulled over and scrolled through his social media until I found a post about his new car. He’d recently bought a shiny new cherry red Mazda.

“Bingo,” I said, tossing my phone aside. I inched my way up the street until I came to a house with the exact car as in the post parked in the driveway. And the house looked like the one in the background. My heart did victory laps in my chest. Callum was just a few feet away now.

Like he sensed my arrival, my phone lit up with a text from him.

Callum

Are you awake?

I answered right away, trying to figure out how I wanted to play this.

I’m awake. Can’t sleep?

I slept a bit, but I woke up and can’t get back to sleep

I could tell you a secret

*suspicious emoji*

What secret?

Sometimes if you get cold and then get back into bed, as you warm up, you’ll go to sleep.

That’s… not a terrible idea.

You should go outside. Take a walk down the block and then try going back to sleep. I’ll walk with you

You’re a dork, but okay. You can walk with me