Page 40 of The Art of Drowning

I looked up at Bowie and found him grinning at me. “We could always go piss on his grave.”

“No, we really can’t.”

“Your pet rock is more fun than you are, sometimes.”

“Sorry I don’t want to catch a charge for public indecency, desecrating a grave, and whatever else they’d throw at us for that. Sam’s not worth it.”

“So what did he leave you? Are you a millionaire now? Did he leave you custody of a secret love child?”

“He gave me an envelope. Me and Callum, both.”

Bowie’s eyes widened. “What was in it?”

I shrugged. “No clue. I didn’t open mine. Neither did Callum. We’re not sure we want to.”

“That’s fair. Did you want me to have a look to see what’s in there so I can prepare you?”

“No, it’s okay. I’m going to let it sit for a while. I mean, what’s the point, right? It’s probably some letter about how sorry he is and blah, blah, blah. I’m not sure I’m in the mood for an apology.” I finished off my coffee and set the mug down with a heavy thump. “Thanks for looking after things while I was gone.”

“Thanks for letting me crash here. I took full advantage of all your streaming services. Oh, and you’re out of cereal.”

He shot me a cheesy grin, and I just shook my head and rolled my eyes. Bowie never met a sugary cereal he didn’t like.

“So…how was it seeing Callum again?”

“You just want the dirty details.” My accusation landed and Bowie clutched his chest.

“Me? Want to pry into your love life?” He dropped the innocent act and leaned in, an evil smile spreading across his face. “Absolutely. Tell me everything.”

“Amazing. Depressing. I don’t know if I have words to describe what seeing him again did to me. I’d gotten so used to missing him, that seeing him in front of me was surreal.” I leaned forward and folded my arms on the table so I could bury my face in them. I closed my eyes and took a slow, deep breath. The trip had left me exhausted physically from the long-distance drive, the lack of proper sleep, and the emotional rollercoaster I’d gone through since getting the phone call. Which, I’d wondered at first how Sam knew where to get in touch with me, but all of that was explained later.

Clearly, Sam had been keeping tabs on me and if he wasn’t dead, I’d have killed him for it. The audacity to drive me away and then pretend that it was my choice to go. My choice to stay away. And that, somehow, we were still the best of friends.

“I missed him. And then he was right there, and it was like no time had passed. We’re going to keep in touch. That’s all I know. We were careful not to make promises to each other, but I want to see him again.” I lifted my head and met Bowie’s gaze. “He lives in Fort Frances. That’s not even two hours from here. Can you believe that? We could’ve been in the same places sometimes and not known it. It makes me crazy to think about it, actually. All this time, we were so close.”

Bowie bit his lip like he was trying to figure out how to say something. After years of friendship, I knew his tells.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just… be careful, okay. I know what you felt for this guy. You’ve been hung up on him for as long as I’ve known you.”

“I promise I’m being careful.” I wasn’t. I’d recklessly tossed myself into bed with him and the crime of the century was that I hadn’t brought the supplies necessary to experience everything I wanted to experience with Callum. But I would be prepared next time. Because there was going to be a next time. I just got him back; there was no way I was letting him go again.

Bowie didn’t believe me, but he didn’t give me any grief for it. It was part of the reason I loved him so much. He was willing to support me through all my bad decisions and their aftermath the way a true friend would.

The fact that I hadn’t heard from Callum since I left burned my insides. I was crawling out of my skin waiting for him to text me. I didn’t want to disturb him while he spent time with his parents. They needed him right now. Probably more than I did, though it still felt like I couldn’t breathe without him around.

“Tell me everything that happened while I was gone.”

“Well, Spike got out of the house, and I had to chase him through the neighborhood.”

“You’re so full of shit. Spike would never. He’s a good boy.”

“It’s true.”

Bowie continued to pull my leg about Spike’s supposed escapades for a while before switching to the real updates, which was that there were no updates. Everything ran smoothly while I was out of town, and I almost hated that it had because I liked feeling necessary. Knowing they could survive without me for a few days bruised my ego a little, so I was stupidly relieved when he told me that one of our clients had called and would only deal with me, and wanted me to call them as soon as I could.

I promised to connect with them first thing the next day, and Bowie promised to let me. I could tell he wanted to stick around longer to keep an eye on me, or to see if he could get me to spill more details about my time with Callum, but he eventually took off.