Page 73 of Heaven Help Me

He comes around to open my door, takes my hand, and confidently sets off down the sidewalk toward the park in the center of downtown. I drag my feet for the first few steps. Then a voice in the back of my head starts blaring, much louder than any of the voices have been this past week.

Are we really going to step out in public and be meek?

Heavens, no. There’s never been one meek bone in my body and not even a little white lie and a shootout at a cabin will make me act that way.

My nose tilts upward, my shoulders roll back to show off my fabulous breasts in this cute little top, and my stride soon matches Deuce’s. If I’m going to show Heaven who I really am, I intend to never lie again. They’ll either love me or hate me, but at least we’ll all know who I am.

“There they are!” Betsy hollers from across the street. She’s got Harlow in a stroller and the little girl is waving at me like I’m her new favorite auntie. Seeing as I’m staying in Heaven, I have every intention of earning that distinction by spoiling the crap out of her.

“Hope you don’t mind I called in reinforcements,” Deuce says out of the side of his sexy mouth.

Silas grins from beside Betsy. Mary London waves as she bounces little Ophelia in a carrier. Rhett, my shotgun savior, gives a head nod of greeting, always cool as a cucumber. They all take turns giving us hugs as they welcome us into the group.

A farmer’s market is spread out behind them, tent after tent filled with shoppers and sellers of everything from handmade tallow soap to farm-fresh produce to carved American flags made out of walnut and hard maple. A band is playing country covers on the opposite side of the park, the perfect vibe for breaking out the wallet and buying a ten-dollar beer.

Though I feel heads turning our direction, I focus on our friends instead. The girls link arms with me and we slowly meander through the farmer’s market. The boys are behind us, but every time I look over my shoulder, Deuce’s gaze is locked on me.

It’s when I overhear a whispered question from the guy who owns the local grocery store that I realize Deuce might be right. I need to confront these rumors head-on or they may never stop.

“You think our kids are safe with her around?”

I know what they must think. I brought kidnappers into their precious town, resulting in multiple deaths and arrests. I led a crime family in New York. It’s a fair question. One I’ve wondered myself.

“Here’s the thing, darlin’,” Mary London trills, turning to me and stopping in her tracks. I can tell from the fire in her eyes that she heard the question too. “You just have to lift your head up and confront the rumors. This chicken-fried nonsense is gonna continue until you put a stop to it. You got enough lady balls to do it?”

Betsy sputters out a laugh at Mary London’s directness. I like it.

“I got lady balls.” I dip my head in a confident nod.

“Damn right you do, honey. You go show ’em to the town.”

“Figuratively,” Betsy interjects helpfully.

I march away from them both, intent on clearing some things up before I leave here today. I’ve never been one to shy away from confrontation, and now that I’ve got supplemental progesterone flowing through my veins thanks to the nurse practitioner Deuce took me to, I feel confident once again.

The band wraps up one song, and before they can start on the next, I hop on stage and ask if I can interrupt for just a moment. The lead singer must recognize me because she waves off the guitar player who looks like he might be a bouncer when he’s not playing in the band.

“Will you sign my shirt afterward?” the singer whispers. I take in her ripped T-shirt and dark purple nail polish. She might sing country, but she’s got a bit of rock ’n’ roll in her.

“You betcha, doll.” I take the microphone from her hands and face the crowd of shoppers. Everyone’s doing their own thing right now, oblivious to my next move. Deuce and our friends are off to the side, offering encouraging smiles. Deuce’s smile shows exactly what he’s thinking…he can’t wait to get me back home now that I’m off medical restrictions.

“Can I have your attention for a minute, Heaven?” My voice reverberates through the speakers. Heads turn, but it takes a bit for the crowd to settle down. “I want to set the record straight about what happened at the cabin.”

Now I’ve got everyone’s attention. Even the vendors leave their tents to get me in their line of sight.

“I don’t want to interrupt your shopping, but I do want to address some rumors. Hi, I’m Valentina Ricci and I used to head the Barzetti crime family in New York. I gave that up a while back and hoped to live the rest of my life in peace. Clearly that didn’t happen. Thanks to good friends here in Heaven who put themselves in the line of danger, I made it out of that situation alive.” I tip my head to Silas and Rhett.

“I’m sorry for bringing violence to your doorstep. I promise I’m not the dangerous woman I once was. In the short time I’ve been here in Heaven, I’ve learned what it means to care for someone. You all have taught me what it means to be a neighbor. To lead with a hug instead of a pointy object.” The crowd titters with laughter and I take that as a good sign.

“I can’t guarantee your safety, but I can assure you I’ll do everything in my power to never bring danger to your kids or your loved ones. Because I have loved ones here in Heaven now too. For the first time in my life, I’ve found a home, not just a house.”

I suck a deep breath of humid Southern air into my lungs and speak my truth. “I’m Valentina Ricci and I’ve been hopelessly in love with Deuce St. Legare since I was a teenager. He’s a fixture here in Heaven and I won’t ask him to leave this place for me. In fact, he’s asked me to stay here with him. If you’ll let me, I’d like to stay here.”

I glance around at everyone, gauging their reactions as I’ve been taught to do in a negotiation. As a changed woman, I know I can’t force them to accept me. I would have in the past. I would have threatened something near and dear to them to get my way. But that’s not me anymore. This place, and these people, changed me.

“Think on it and let me know.”

With a forced smile, I hand the microphone back to the lead singer. I hop off the stage and stride confidently back to Deuce, who envelops me in his arms.