Page 29 of Heaven Help Me

Suddenly I’m pissed, fully energized and ready to take on the she-devil. My hands land on her shoulders and I’m pushing her against the wall. She lifts her knee lightning quick to jab me in the balls, but I deflect, expecting that response.

“Listen for half a fucking second, woman. You took my virginity⁠—”

“You took my virginity!"

I glare at her, digging my fingers into her shoulders. I want to strangle her. I would never, but the thought does cross my mind for a split second.

“We took each other’s virginities, and then I woke up the next morning. You were still sleeping. I slipped out of the room to go get muffins from the cook, but before I could bring them back, Fazio intercepted me with a fist to my face. Told me to leave you alone. I assumed you told him what happened, so I grabbed some ice, then went to find you, irritated that you told him. But then you met me at the door to your bedroom with the tip of your knife.”

Valentina’s breathing heavy, but she stares at me in silence for a beat or two. Then she’s shaking her head violently. “No! You crept out of bed, found Fazio, told him all the private details and then tried to creep back into my bed. I didn’t tell Fazio anything.”

“If you told him nothing, then why did he hit me?”

“I don’t know! I just woke up. You were gone. Then Fazio came running in, pissed that you’d touched me. Said you blabbed the whole thing to him. So, yeah, you met the end of my knife, you snitch.”

I stare into her eyes, more blue than gray today, and hope she can tell I’m telling the truth. “I never told Fazio. I told no one. I left that day and never came back. Bettina was so pissed I left without telling her.”

“I swear on my life I didn’t tell Fazio either.”

We stare at each other for long moments. I’m not sure how we reach the same conclusion but clearly something happened all those years ago. Something we’ve been blaming each other for. Something that’s also entirely false.

“You’ve hated me all these years because you thought I slept with you and then snitched?”

Valentina loses the fierce look. Her eyes go round and soft. “You thought I slept with you and snitched to Fazio, then knifed you, and you never came back after that?”

I shake my head slowly, fingers now kneading the tight shoulder muscles under my palms. “I never came back for several reasons. Bettina’s life was not the life I wanted and the girl I kept coming back for every summer didn’t want me either. There was nothing to come back for.”

I see my words wash over her. I feel the way her body slumps, as if releasing every tense muscle like she doesn’t have to keep her guard up around me any longer. Her eyes fill with a shine that’s not normal. She blinks rapidly and tries to look away, but it’s not working. I take pity on her and release her, stepping back and giving her room to process.

She grumbles something, looking at the painting on the wall behind me. I’m pretty sure she said she was sorry, but I have a deep need to hear it again.

“What’s that? I couldn’t hear you.”

Valentina’s gaze snaps to mine, back to fiery and not exactly contrite. “I said I was sorry for knifing you!” she practically shouts at me.

I stifle a laugh. As far as apologies go, it’s the weirdest one I’ve ever received. I also know how much it cost her to say it.

Without rubbing her nose in it, I hold my hand out. “Truce?”

She wrinkles her nose, but ends up taking my hand. “I hope your pickles are always sweet,” she grumbles.

I pump our hands up and down. “I don’t like sweet pickles.”

Her triumphant smile tells me she already knows this tidbit about me.

“I won’t tell Bettina about your dad. I swear it,” she says, hand still in mine.

“And I won’t tell her about your anxiety.”

She lifts her nose in the air. “Fine.”

“Fine.”

At the same time, we realize we’re still holding hands. We both whip our hands back and look away. I step back again and clear my throat.

“How about we make some dinner?”

Valentina nods more vigorously than the question calls for. “Sure. Sounds great.”