Page 87 of Use Me Up

“Well,” I say, “maybe when I was eighteen, that was definitely too young, and maybe even when I was twenty-two, that was too young, but if it happened now, I could handle it.” I look back at the pill on the counter. Then I look back at Gatlin. “You really want me to…”

He licks his lips. “No,” he says in a scoured voice. “No, take the pill. Forget I said anything.”

I do not take the pill. I stand there and stare at him, and I feel self-conscious because I’m a mess and I haven’t showered, but I can still smell him all over me, and that’s… nice in a weird way.

Gatlin gestures. “Take it. I’m serious.”

I lift a shoulder. “You said you were thinking about me?”

He gives me a small, sort of helpless, smile. “Uh, yeah, I was thinking that it was awful that Ellis sent you off like that, and that we didn’t fight him harder on it. It was my fault and Kane’s fault that you ended up with my cock inside you.”

“I think I share some of that fault.” I grin at him.

His smile widens, and he looks me over, and there’s a fondness in the way he looks at me, and I feel—which makes no sense, not really—as if there’s a connection between us, something already forged.

There isn’t a connection, not really. We were naked together, that’s all. But I find myself stepping closer to him.

When he sees that I’m coming to him, he comes to me, closing the distance between us in two steps, his movements sure and strong. He takes me in his arms, and I feel small and engulfed against him, and I can smell him, and he still smells like vanilla or cloves or both or… I don’t know… but he smells good.

Then he kisses me.

I moan into his mouth, sliding my hands up to clutch his shoulders. I feel absolutely comfortable around this man. He feels safe and I feel wanted by him.

I don’t know why.

Some part of me cannot believe that Ellis could want me, and Gatlin is just as stupidly attractive as Ellis. Well, maybe Gatlin doesn’t have that otherworldly element to him. Ellis is so attractive he practically glows. Gatlin is just a normal hot guy. But he’s very hot. He’s muscled and nicely put together, and he’s out of my league, and I know it.

But it’s simply different, and I can’t explain why.

Gatlin and I kiss, our tongues tangling, and I plaster myself against him, and—

He backs away, his movements abrupt, letting out a string of swear words. He raises both of his hands. “Sorry, sorry. I can’t do that with you. I need—you need—we need to talk to Ellis first.”

“Ellis doesn’t get to say who I kiss!” I exclaim.

“No, I’m not saying that,” says Gatlin. “It’s not because you’re a possession and he gets to say who has access to you. It’s because he’s my omega, and if I do something that I know will hurt him, it’s cruel. I cannot do that to him.” A pause. “Of course, I shouldn’t have come here at all.” Gatlin looks at the door. “I’m leaving.”

“Wait,” I say. “You can’t show up here, tell me you’re thinking about me, ask me to have a baby, kiss me, and then leave.”

Gatlin winces again. “You’re right. This is fucked.”

We stare at each other.

I say, in a very tiny voice, “You were really thinking about me?”

“It was kind of a yearning feeling, as if you were a missing piece, that you should have been there with us, all of us together.”

I lick my lips. Wow. Okay. What would that be like? Me and three men?

I guess I wouldn’t say no immediately. Maybe I’d want to think all of that through.

“But it’s insane,” says Gatlin. “I’m not even straight. I don’t think I’ve ever been this way about a woman. I’m an alpha, and people with designations only have sexual orientation to a degree, of course. We’re all at least a little bisexual, but I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman.”

I make a noise in the back of my throat. “You’re gay?”

“I’m…” He rubs his chin. “I’ve been in a relationship with a man for six years, and before that, I was dating men exclusively. So, I mean, yeah?”

“Because that sort of figures. My only boyfriend was gay,” I say.