Page 53 of Use Me Up

Of course he called me that in front of Ellis. Of course.

Ellis grins at me in a very upsetting way. If he asks me if he can call me Hannah-banana in bed?

No.

My mother calls from the den, “Ice is getting warm. Get in here. Drinks at 6:30, I said, didn’t I?”

“It’s 6:28,” I call back.

My dad laughs, ushering us into the den.

My mother and Andrew are both on their feet, holding glasses.

So, what’s my family’s house like? It’s, you know, what might be called a mansion, I guess. Most of the money in the family is inherited from my great-grandfather’s business, but my father has added to the family wealth with his business, which is not the same business. My grandfather sold my great-grandfather’s business and basically just lived it up. I have a lot of half-aunts and half-uncles, because my grandfather was not even a little faithful to my grandmother. He’s dead now. Complications with his heart. Too much cocaine, basically.

Anyway, the house is big, two stories, with grounds and tennis courts and a formal dining room (we won’t eat there tonight, though, because it’s huge). We don’t have servants, like I said, well, not full-time servants.

The dinner tonight? My mother will have ordered lots of it ready-made from various places. She may have made the salad. My dad probably made the dinner rolls. My dad has a thing about bread. He likes to make bread, but I think it’s mostly because it’s this process, bread. You mix it, you let it sit, you punch it down, you let it sit. I don’t really know how it works, but you can’t rush bread. It takes time. My dad likes things like that, things that can’t be rushed.

“Well, you brought him,” says my mother, shaking her head. “Why didn’t I even consider this happening?”

Ellis smiles at her. “Good to see you again, Joni.”

“Last time we spoke, your parting words to me were that you had defiled my daughter,” says my mom. “You remember that?”

I wince.

My father coughs.

Ellis squares his shoulders. “That was not my finest hour, agreed.”

“Do you have a finest hour?” says my mother. “Can you point to a time when I can see you at your best, Ellis?”

Ellis flinches, his gaze flitting away.

“I have already seen firsthand what you did to Calliope,” says my mother, taking a sip of her drink. “And now you’ve moved on to my youngest child?”

“That’s not fair,” I say, and I probably shouldn’t be defending him, but it really isn’t fair. “It’s not all him. He and Calliope do things to each other.”

“She’s not wrong, Mom,” says Andrew in a defeated voice. “It’s not as if Callie would be just fine if he weren’t around.”

“Isn’t it, though?” My mother gestures with her drink. “Isn’t that exactly what happened? He left, and she was fine.”

“After she had a breakdown that lasted nine months,” says Andrew, glaring at our mother.

My father clears his throat. “What would you two like to drink?”

Drinks proceed uncomfortably, and I am beginning to feel very certain that it was a bad idea to bring Ellis, who is mostly quiet during everything. I think he’s afraid of my mom, and I guess I can see why. My mom can be intimidating.

My mother and father seem to be trying to divide us so that my mother can talk to me alone, but I refuse to leave Ellis by himself with either of them.

Finally, loudly, I say to my mother, “Look, I get it that we’re worried about Andrew’s marriage, but it is not my fault he decided to marry Calliope. She is the problem here. She decided to marry Andrew when she knew she was never going to stop feeling whatever she feels about Ellis. Ellis isn’t married to anyone.”

Ellis clears his throat. “Well, in fairness to Callie, I did leave. And she wouldn’t have thought I was ever coming back.”

“Why did you come back?” says my mother to Ellis.

“He got bitten,” I say.