Page 32 of Use Me Up

“Well, this is why I’m saying, maybe I just need both of you, and maybe we make peace with that, and we try to figure it out. I was thinking you just get a vasectomy, like, you don’t even want kids, and then—”

“Are you fucking serious?” I groan. Cut off my ability to ever father a child? Why does that settle weirdly in me?

“Well, that’s the biggest problem, isn’t it? Otherwise, it’s just… we make a schedule. You and Andrew never see each other. And you stay away from the baby.”

“What? I’m not allowed to see your kid?” I sit up, glaring at her. “I’m not going to hurt a child. You know me.”

“I do know you,” she says to the ceiling.

I swear underneath my breath, getting my clothes back in order. “Get the fuck out of my car.”

She sits up. “You don’t get to be like this. You don’t get act all wounded, when we both know—”

“I’m not a monster, Callie.”

“You are so a monster!”

“God, you are such a bitch sometimes.”

“And the fact that you would think you could call me that—”

“Out. Just go away,” I say.

“I hate you,” she says to me.

“I hate you,” I say.

She throws the door open and gets out of the car, and I wriggle up into the driver’s seat, and I start the car, and the back door is still open as I pull out and she screams after me and I peel out of there as my car beeps at me about the door being ajar, and then it slams closed, and I barrel out of there at top speed.

I’m positive that Hannah will be gone when I get back to my place.

But she’s not.

She’s asleep in my bed, still only wearing my t-shirt. I look down on her and I think about waking her up and telling her to get the fuck out, too, because I need to just pack up and go. I can sell this place. I don’t need to even be around that woman.

Calliope Karras-Wihlbilt is bad for me.

I get into the other side of the bed and lay next to Hannah, and I think that I will fix all of this in the morning. I’ll wake up with a clear head, and I’ll send Hannah home, and I’ll pack up my shit, and I’ll go elsewhere.

Maybe I’ll call them, even.

They did say that if I wanted…

Yeah.

Maybe I will.

7

hannah

I wake up in bed with Ellis again, second morning in a row. He’s got his back to me this time.

I almost left last night, I really did.

He was gone, and the house was big and empty, and I walked around, looking at how he really hasn’t decorated the place, as if he’s just squatting here, and I know he got this house because he wants to prove some kind of point or make some kind of statement or maybe just hurt other people the way he perceives they hurt him.

I know I’m caught up in something that is going to blow up in my face.