Page 8 of Speed

"Kayla, wait!" I caught up to her in a few strides and grabbed her shoulder.

My heart fell when I turned her toward me and saw tears in her eyes.

"What's the matter?" I said. "Why are you crying?"

She looked away and wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Don't cry," I said. "Talk to me." I never could stand to see her cry.

She shook her head. "I can't." She pulled away from me and stormed back to the car.

I didn't want to upset her further. I stayed a few steps behind and tried to figure out what to say. She'd been deceiving me, so I didn't feel that I needed to apologize for not telling her right away that I knew. She'd been enjoying kissing me; there was no mistake about that. Maybe she was embarrassed? I decided not to push her, to let her calm down, and talk when she was ready.

I stood back as she got into the car. Her face was red and she looked angry, and I had no idea why.

I got in, put the key in the ignition, but didn't turn it. I stared straight ahead and felt hot emotion radiating from her side of the small car.

I tried again. "Kayla⁠—"

She interrupted in an outburst. "Why did you do that? Why did you kiss me?"

I was at a loss for words. Why wouldn't I kiss her? What kind of question was that? She was looking at me with narrowed eyes, and it started to piss me off. "I wasn't forcing you," I said firmly. "You were kissing me too."

"Why were you kissing me if you knew who I was?" Her voice cracked and her face softened a little. I was afraid she'd crumble again.

"I kissed you because I wanted to." I said, simply and honestly, my tone calmer.

She looked away again. We were back to this. I read the moment and decided to give her space to calm down, to let us both clear our thoughts. I started the engine, turned around, and went slowly down the drive.

I felt like driving fast. I needed to drive fast, and it would've helped me process my emotions, but I sensed that it would have the opposite effect on Kayla, so I stuck to the speed limit as I drove back to the restaurant. Also, I was in no rush to part from her. I wanted her to cool down so that we could talk. I had a lot of questions for her, but I knew this wasn't the time.

"Where did you park?" I asked, when I pulled into the lot. She pointed and I followed her direction. As soon as I stopped the car, I put a hand on her arm. "Kayla, don't go."

"Don't," she said, shaking me off of her and reaching for the door handle. "Just let me go."

And so I did. For now.

CHAPTER 6

GOODBYE

KAYLA

I was shaking. I had to sit in my car for several minutes before I felt like I'd be safe to drive.

Axel lingered in the parking lot, but finally, he left and I gradually started to function again.

I was numb as I drove home. Thoughts competed for attention but none won. How did he know who I was? When did he know? Why did he kiss me? Why did I let him? How was I going to handle never experiencing his touch again, now that I'd been in his arms?

I tried to just wipe it all out. I couldn't process it, couldn't deal with it.

I mixed a strong drink when I got home, skipped dinner, and was thankful when the alcohol enabled me to fall asleep.

My head was aching the next morning, and I didn't know if it was the vodka or the crying that had caused it. I got ready to go into the office on autopilot and tried to remember what I'd been working on. I had a few projects underway, but I wouldn't be able to avoid the article about Axel for long, and I had no idea how I was going to manage it. I knew I'd just need to disconnect my heart from my brain, even though my brain was pretty messed up about it all too.

It was important that I do a great job on Axel's feature. Dean had taken a chance on me, and I couldn't afford to let my emotions incapacitate me.

Marlee came over to my workspace shortly after I arrived. "How'd it go yesterday?"