Page 4 of Speed

It occurred to me that if I played up my sex appeal, it would also aid my secret mission. Axel would never expect that his little stepsister had grown up and become so sexy.

Marlee and I moved on to different subjects, but in the back of my mind, I was flipping through my wardrobe, thinking about how far I could push the sexy and still look professional. On my way home, I thought about how I might act when I saw him and how he might respond. I thought about the order of questions I'd ask. I was interested in his thoughts about his racing career, but I knew most of our readers wanted details on his busy social life.

Just after closing my apartment door behind me, a call came in from Justin. Damn! I'd forgotten all about him. I set my bag down and accepted his call.

"Kayla?" He sounded both relieved and nervous.

"Hi, Justin. I'm sorry. I had a really busy day at work." That wasn't a complete lie.

"You got my text this morning?"

"Yes. Sorry." I wasn't ready for this conversation, and I struggled to find the next words.

"Are you free for dinner tomorrow?

I decided on the direct approach. "Justin, I don't think we should see each other anymore."

His end of the line went silent.

"It's not you. It's me." Ugh. I couldn't believe those lame words had just come out of my mouth, but they felt like they were true. "You are a great person, I just don't think I'm ready for anything serious right now."

The rest of the call was mercifully short. After we said goodbye, I thought about the explanation I'd given Justin. The truth was that I did want a serious relationship; I just didn't want to settle for someone who didn't give me butterflies. I didn't want to waste the time of someone who didn't occupy my every thought.

I had dated a few guys in college and several after, but I just hadn't found that spark. Was there something wrong with me? Was I even capable of feeling that elusive spark?

Later, as I lay in bed that night, I remembered being fifteen, lying under my fluffy pink comforter in my quiet bedroom and being acutely aware that Axel was lying on his bed, just on the other side of the wall. I'd definitely had that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling back then. There were so many nights I fell asleep thinking about him.

While my friends had posters of Chad Michael Murray or Jesse McCartney on their walls, to me, Axel was the perfect guy. And just like my friends' idols, Axel was equally unattainable. He was older than me, in a different league socially, and, of course, he was my stepbrother. I knew it was wrong for me to have such an intense crush on him, but I couldn't help it, no matter how I tried to deny my feelings for him. In a small way, I'd been glad when our parents divorced, because sometimes it was pure torture living under the same roof as him, and wanting him so much. Sexual feelings had been new to me back then, and he was the boy populating all of my fantasies.

Ugh! I sat up and shook my head, hoping to clear away the memories. I couldn't sleep, so I figured I may as well do some more research and preparation for the interview. I didn't really need to research Axel's career. I'd been following it since the beginning. I'd even attended a couple of his races, but I'd never contacted him in all the years since our parents’ divorce.

Doing an Internet search on Axel yielded approximately twenty percent articles about racing and eighty percent stories about his love life. Actually, “love” probably wasn't the right word. He dated—a lot—but he didn't seem to stay with anyone long enough for love to develop. Looking at his dating history, I'd have to assume it was all about the conquest. He'd been seen out with models, actresses, and stunning women from other countries; really, it was a wonder that he had time for racing at all.

The further I scrolled, the more disgusted I got. Axel had obviously grown up to be a superficial, love 'em and leave 'em man-whore. As I clicked through the endless pictures of him with a never-ending parade of women at his side, I realized that my encounter with him was going to have positive consequences that I didn’t anticipate when I requested the assignment. Seeing firsthand the man he'd become was going to allow me to finally get over him, and any schoolgirl illusions I still had about him.

If I was being completely honest with myself, I had to admit that I'd put him on a pedestal. He was my first crush, and being parted with him so suddenly after our parents' divorce had left me longing for him all these years. Without intending to, I compared men I dated to him, or rather to a romanticized ideal of him I still held. Tomorrow, I'd get to meet the real man, and then the spell that had been holding me back all these years would be broken.

I closed my laptop, got back into bed, and fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, a burst of clarity provided by a good night's sleep allowed me to solidify my goals for the day: get a kick-ass interview that would impress Dean; look so damn sexy that Axel would treat me as a conquest, just like he seemed to treat most women; and, when I could then see my stepbrother's playboy ways in person, I would finally break free of the grip he unwittingly held on me.

After showering, I dried and styled my long red hair into flowing waves. I'm naturally blond, so accentuating my copper-dyed tresses was part of the disguise. Normally I wore my hair in some sort of up-do, but today I let it fall down my shoulders and back.

I applied smoky eye shadow, just lightly enough to still be appropriate for day, and I squeezed into a snug, curve-hugging skirt, topping it with a silky white blouse that helped highlight my best assets.

I practiced speaking in a slow, sexy tone. I would sound nothing like the little girl Axel had known. And just for good measure, on the way to the interview, I picked up a pair of fashionable glasses to further disguise my face, though it was already so different without the braces, acne, and baby fat that had plagued my teen years.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection and was pleased. My look said sexy, smart, and all grown up. It was time to meet my long-lost stepbrother.

CHAPTER 3

HARD TO GET

AXEL

There are two things I love to do in this life, and when I'm not actively engaged in doing them, I'm usually thinking about when I'll get the next opportunity. Interviews are not one of those two things. Interviews are usually boring or sometimes painful, but they're a necessary evil related to one of the things I love. My manager is heavily focused on sponsorships and promo opportunities, and the more publicity I get, the happier he is.

I wasn't thrilled when I found out I was scheduled to do an interview with a city magazine, but I was very pleasantly surprised when I walked into the water-side restaurant and saw the woman who would be interviewing me. Her wavy red hair drew my attention first, then her full lips, then my eyes dropped and lingered on her incredible rack. I knew then that I was going to be talking to her about one of the things I loved—racing—while only thinking about the other thing I loved—fucking.