Page 82 of The Librarian’s Familiar

“Uh-huh. As much as I don’t want to, I’m going to shift and push some healing your way. You don’t need to worry about directing it; just accept it, I guess. It always feels like heat going to where it’s needed and making bone and skin knit back together.”

“Nothing is broken.”

“Your bones may not be, but something isn’t right because I can’t feel your magic, and I could before. Plus, you have a headache.”

“That might be from using magic.” Although since his nose had been bleeding, it was a sign that he’d used too much. Maybe there was bleeding in his brain and pressure was building—he was not sharing those thoughts with August.

August clasped his hand in his warm, strong grip. “Charlie, if you die, I die, so please accept the only bit of magic I can offer you.”

“I don’t want to die,” Charlie confirmed. He felt like he’d been run over, but he had a library to finish putting back together. He had things he wanted to do. He had a mate.

A mate.

Oh.

“At least we agree on that.” He placed Charlie’s hand down. “Please don’t freak out when I shift.”

“I can’t promise that.” Waking up with a polar bear draped over him had unlocked a new fear that combined both the fear of being frozen and wild animals, even though August wasn’t a wild animal and was in fact his mate, something his brain had not been able to process at the time.

August sighed as he crouched. While he’d seemed to melt from bear to human, going from human to bear looked much more like he was growing. Charlie became aware of the heat through the bond, hitting him in the chest and spreading through his blood like it was seeking damage to heal.

His face warmed, then it felt as if there was a hot coal inside his skull. He swore and grabbed his head, not sure if he was trying to stop the pain or if he wanted to claw through his own skin to let the cold air in. His back arched. Just when he thought it had seared away every sense except pain. It was gone. He rolled onto his back still clutching his head, not trusting that it wouldn’t split open.

He kept his eyes closed and concentrated on breathing, aware of the bear next to him sniffing and huffing as if assessing him. Gradually he allowed himself to blink and stare up at the night sky. He didn’t want to move anything else in case everything started hurting again.

So he lay there motionless, staring at the stars even as the wave of August shifting heat washed over him. He didn’t need to look at him to confirm that he was no longer a bear as he sensed the change in the bond. It was a little less wild, a little less sharp, as if the polar bear’s teeth and claws somehow traveled through the bond.

“Are you still with me?” August’s voice was soft, yet still managed to cut through his head.

“Yeah. I want to be unconscious again.”

“I can hear the engines. Stay with me a little longer.”

“The headache’s gone.” Nothing could have survived the shifting heat. At least August had only let him feel it the first time; he wasn’t sure he could’ve survived it twice.

“Good.” August squeezed his hand.

His mate, who might die because of him if they remained bound together.

Charlie felt for the threads that bound them together. It wouldn’t take much to pull them apart. To separate their lives and ensure that August was safe regardless of what happened to him. He hesitated, knowing that he should tell August while acknowledging that August would tell him not to. Charlie gripped his hand a little tighter. “Because we don’t know… I should…”

He didn’t want to. Without August, he’d be dead, but he couldn’t repay August by risking his life.

August’s eyebrows pinched together. “You want to break the bond.”

“Just in case.” Was he dying? He didn’t know. Fear started clawing at the edges now that the pain had subsided. He wanted the pain back. “If I’m fine and everything works out…” They could try again, assuming they could remake the bond. And if they couldn’t? Was this over?

He didn’t want that either.

The whine of engines drawing closer distracted him for a heartbeat. They didn’t have long. “Please…this is the only way I can protect you.”

“What if it doesn’t come back?”

“I thought you wanted to test it?”

“I did, but that was before I thought I was going to lose you. I don’t know what you did, but I’m assuming it worked because there was no magical shockwave and we survived. Besides, I thought the headache was gone?”

“I think it has, but who knows what other damage was done. Magic is weird.” And he was extra weird. “Once I’ve seen a healer, I’ll know more.” Maybe he was fine, and he was only exhausted…or maybe it was something else. “Please?”