Page 30 of Wicked Wolf

“Quinn.”

“Fine. It’s Helena’s fault that Jesse is sick, that he can’t shift. I get that. But why did Helena leave, Gideon? Why wasn’t I good enough to keep our bond, huh? Did you ever think of that? She left us, took half my soul with her. She hated me enough to risk her own life so she could break our mating bond and then the Pack bonds that held her to the Talons. She left us, Gideon. She left Jesse. So you sit there and tell me that there wasn’t anything I could do to keep her. Tell me I didn’t do anything to push her away.”

He swallowed the bile rising in his throat. He hadn’t spoken of his fears in the five years Helena had been gone. He’d been so scared to do so, but those thoughts had been on a loop for all those years.

Something had happened to force Helena to leave him and Jesse. She hadn’t just woken up one day and decided to run away from it all.

He must have done something to lose her love, her faith, her trust.

He just didn’t know what.

Maybe he’d been too focused on his duties to the Pack. He’d always been a wolf that put other people’s needs and wants above his own. He was a dominant wolf, and that meant protecting others no matter the cost. When he was younger and unmated, he’d put his all into finding a way to strengthen the Pack under the former, crueler Alpha.

When Gideon became Alpha, Quinn had risen in the ranks and pledged his life in order to protect what the den would one day become.

He didn’t change that ideal when Jesse came along. He and Helena had mated before Gideon became Alpha. She’d stood by his side for twenty years, through thick and thin, through pain, war, and peace.

Then she’d left.

He must have done something.

Just one more reason he would never be with Gina.

He closed his eyes and cursed.

Damn. He wouldn’t think about her. He couldn’t. He’d pushed her away for her own good. He might have lied to himself and her about the whole witch thing, but in reality, it was only for her. He wasn’t a good bet. He wasn’t even whole.

If he was honest with himself, he didn’t hate her.

He couldn’t.

His wolf wouldn’t let him.

No, he was scared of her.

Scared of not only the powers he didn’t understand, but scared of what she could become to him.

He closed his eyes, aware his Alpha was staring at him as he got lost in his own head. If he allowed himself to get close to Gina, allowed himself to bond again, what was to say she wouldn’t just leave him like Helena had? He’d already been through that once. He wasn’t sure he was strong enough to go through that again.

Plus, with Gina…there was something about her that called to him on a different level than Helena had, and that scared him more than he wanted to admit.

He’d hurt her to make sure she could never hurt him.

He was an asshole and he knew that in order for them to be able to work together again, he’d have to apologize. He just wasn’t sure he deserved her forgiveness.

No, he knew he didn’t deserve anything along those lines.

He’d fucked up with Gina for their own good. That didn’t mean it had to feel good.

He sighed then opened his eyes. “I’m ready to go back,” he said softly.

Gideon studied his face. “I think you are, but first, I need to tell you what will happen next.”

Quinn frowned and tilted his head. “What do you mean? What’s going on?”

His Alpha let out a breath. “Walker isn’t sure what will happen next, and he’s asked for help. I gave him my blessing, Quinn.”

Quinn stood up on shaky legs. “He called Hannah, didn’t he?”