Page 16 of Snowed in with my Best Friend

CHAPTER 4

POSY

The morning came far too quickly, the sun dancing over my eyelids. I did my best not to shift, not to make a single move. Because if I did, he would know I was awake.

His body rolled over me, protectively holding me in his embrace as if we had been doing this for decades rather than the few short hours we had given each other to sleep.

I wanted to say that I could blame it all on the alcohol, but that wasn’t going to be the case. It couldn’t be when I had been clear in my intentions, my consent, and the fact that the only regret I had was that it was going to be the last time.

My head didn’t ache, which told me indeed I hadn’t had too much to drink, and I was grateful for the water we had chugged in between our bouts of heat.

Though heat wasn’t the right word for it.

Glimpses of exactly what had happened the night before filled my brain, and I let out a sigh without thinking.

Because he had made sure that everything we had done was exactly how I had always thought it would be.

Rough and yet soft, caring and attentive, and yet giving each other pleasure in a way that I hadn’t thought possible before. I ached between my legs, and I knew I would be sore for a couple of days. My breasts were tender, and I knew tiny little bite marks and bruises would cover my body, and it would all be taken in pleasure, and memory. Just like I knew he had similar marks over him.

One set of sheets was tangled on the floor—we had found a spare in the closet—and now we were huddled under layers of blankets and quilts, with his front to my back, his leg positioned perfectly between mine so that we spooned into one another. I could feel his rock-hard erection pressing against my lower back, but neither one of us shifted.

Because Cullen had heard that sigh of mine. His arm tightened around my waist, and that’s when I realized his large hand cupped my breast, as if he had done it in his sleep, a perfect space to nestle after a long day.

My lips curved at that thought, and I had to wonder exactly what he would think about that.

“I know you’re awake,” he whispered. His warm breath slid over the back of my neck, and I shivered into his hold, unconsciously snuggling in for more warmth.

Truly we hadn’t needed the countless quilts and blankets. Not when he was a heater himself.

“Posy? Would you like me to get out of bed?” he asked softly, and I swallowed hard before turning in his hold.

He shifted slightly, and now his cock pressed against my belly, our legs entangled. I put my hands on his chest, nearly covering my breasts as I looked up at him.

“I’m awake.”

“Yes. You are,” he repeated.

Of course I hadn’t said the correct thing. After all, I felt beyond lost. Beyond trying to figure out what the heck I was doing.

“I can see the panic in your eyes,” he said after a moment, and I bit into my lip, my hands curling against his chest.

When he let out a deep sigh, I scrambled out of bed, not knowing what I should do.

If I reached for him, I wouldn’t be able to stop. I wasn’t sure what he would do though. And that was the worst of it all.

Because he was my friend. And now I was afraid I was going to lose him.

“Posy,” he said after a moment. He sat up, the blankets pulling around his waist. When he slid his hands through his hair, pushing it back from his face, I pressed my lips together. I’d wrapped one of the quilts around myself, standing there as if I were lost beyond redemption.

“I’m… I don’t know what to say.”

“I guess you don’t have to say anything.” He frowned, and I shook my head, feeling as if I were losing something precious. “Did I hurt you?”

My gaze shot up, meeting his, and I moved forward without thinking. He stood up quickly, tying one of the sheets around his waist, and I put my hands against his chest once more.

“You didn’t hurt me at all, anything that happened was exactly what either one of us wanted. At least at the time…” I said, my voice trailing off. Cullen cursed and pulled away from me. It was as if ice slowly began to make its jagged way through my chest, and one of the only people I could ever rely on walked away, leaving me a broken husk.

“I’m sorry. I really shouldn’t have kissed you. Either time. I mean, I don’t want to ruin what we have. You’re one of my best friends. I love hanging out with you, I just like being with you. But I don’t know. I mean, you’re one of the only people who helps me get out of my house. How silly is that? And here we are, ruining it because we can’t help what our glands want. And I just said the word glands. Who says the word glands?” I asked, my voice rising with each panicked sentence.