Page 88 of Break My Heart

“I’m still trying to figure out how to not let it get to me.”

“Just don’t try to shut me out,” I say.

“I won’t. Never again.” His hand comes up, covering mine where it rests against his chest. “Stay with me?” he asks quietly. The question isn’t about location or physical needs.

It’s about love.

“Yes,” I say.

31

COVER THE UNDERCUT: PIT TO MATCH RIVAL STRATEGY

Idon’t sleep much, not because I don’t want to. My brain just won’t shut off long enough to let me.

I smile down at the weight on my chest. Christin has no such problems as she drapes her upper body across mine. One of her legs is tangled with mine beneath the sheets while her arm wraps around my ribs like she’s making certain I wouldn’t dare shift away from her.

Not again, I think to myself. Never again.

The early morning light catches the highlights in her dark, luxurious hair. She’s warm, soft, and completely unguarded. I’m still amazed that somehow, even after everything that happened, she trusts me enough to let me hold her in her sleep.

Carefully, I comb my fingers through her hair, smoothing it away from her face. She makes a quiet sound in her sleep and murmurs my name. God, I love her. Not in the terrifying, debasing way I was raised to think love was supposed to feel, but in a way that makes me want to hold onto her forever so she won’t disappear. This is the kind of love that settles into the marrow of your bones until you can’t remember a time it wasn’t a part of you.

I try to hold onto that feeling without letting my past intrude, but eventually my mind shifts where it always does when things feel too good. Back to Ashbourne Vale. Back to Hawthorne Manor, where they killed my love daily within ancient stone walls.

Was there anything I could have done that would have made me enough for them? I wonder.

My body must be transmitting my tension because Christin shifts against me. Her voice is sleepy when she breaks through the noises in my head. “You’re thinking too loudly again.”

A chuckle escapes me. “I didn’t mean to.”

She lifts her face slightly until our eyes lock on each other. “You tense when your head goes somewhere bad. Plus, your heartbeat changes.”

The fact that she notices things like that makes me want to never let her go. Instead, I lean down and press a kiss to the crown of her head. “Go back to sleep, Chris. It’s still early.”

She exhales softly before pushing herself up enough to look at me properly. Sleep still clings to her features. “Thinking about your family again?”

That’s my woman—smart as a whip. “Unfortunately.”

Her fingers smooth across my chest, grounding and distracting all at once. “Nightmare?”

“Just remembering my childhood. I can’t call it a nightmare since I’m awake.”

Concern flickers across her face. Then she tries to lighten the mood. “You know, racing fans everywhere would be deeply disturbed by how morose you can be before eight in the morning.”

I huff out a quiet laugh. “Yet, you stay.”

“I love you. You could actually bray like a donkey, and I’d be here. Though some would absolutely consider it questionable decision-making on my part.”

“Mm.” I brush my thumb along her hip beneath the sheet. “I’m grateful for it anyway.”

“You don’t have to earn being cared about every second of the day, Leo.”

“Logically, I know that. Emotionally? I’ve never experienced it before you.”

Her eyes narrow slightly. “That sounded suspiciously like a platitude.”

“I’m an athlete. Media training.”