Page 24 of Break My Heart

He cocks his head slightly. “You’re not just off because of the car.”

I let out a humorless laugh. “That’s all I have the right to be upset about.”

“Should be, but it’s not.”

“Don’t start.”

“Too late.”

I take a long drink—finishing the bottle and tossing it into a bin. I’m trying to buy myself a second. It doesn’t help. “I fucked up. Is that what you want me to say?”

“Yes.”

“I emailed her. She hasn’t responded. End of, right?”

Dario’s gaze doesn’t waver. “Is it?”

“Yes.”

“You sure about that?”

I turn away, bracing my hands on the edge of a table. “I told you what happened. Do you really think I have a right to continue to pester her?”

“You said something you shouldn’t have. Something you didn’t mean. Does she understand that?”

Again, words I try to find get stuck in my throat. I don’t answer because I can’t. I let out a rough breath, wiping a hand down my face. “I saw her face, Dario. She looked at me like…” I trail off, the memory hitting too close. Like I was someone she didn’t recognize. Like you’d become a clone of your parents. I shake my head, trying to dislodge the thought. With finality, I state, “I have to accept she wants nothing to do with me.”

Dario steps closer, lowering his voice. “You’re miserable and distracted. Outside of the telemetry issues, it’s bleeding into your driving.”

“My driving is fine.”

“Your driving is suffering,” he says bluntly. “Because you won’t deal with what you did.”

I stare at him, anger flaring before I look back at the car they’ve moved into the garage. It’s sleek, perfect, and not doing what I want it to because my head’s split between being here and Christin’s home in Saratoga Springs. “She threw me out.”

“I would have too. You were an ass.”

The truth of it lands like a punch. My shoulders drop a fraction. “If I tried to reach out again, what would I even say to her?”

“The truth,” he says simply.

I let out a short, bitter laugh. “Because she wants to hear all about my family issues?”

“Better than leaving her with the idea you thought she would blend into the wallpaper when that’s clearly not the case.”

I flinch.

He notices. “If you miss her, then be prepared to act like she matters. Do something to get her back.”

I stare at the floor for a long moment, the noise of the garage fading into the background. There’s so much pressure right now—performance, expectations, a car that isn’t responding the way it should. Adding Christin to the mix doesn’t simplify things. If anything, it sharpens the edge of the blade hanging over my neck. Finally, I relent. “I’ll consider it.”

“That’s a start.”

I turn my helmet over and over in my hands. Then, I glance back toward the track. Even from here, I can see the waves of heat distorting the clear skies. Right now, I need to feel in control of something, so I inform Dario, “I want another run.”

Dario smirks. “Of course you do, but the rest of us mere mortals want food.”

Barking out a quick laugh, I down another bottle of water. Once lunch is complete, I tug my helmet back on. The moment I do, my world narrows. Simplifies. Reassembling the steering wheel, I start her up and steer in the direction of the track.