Page 22 of The Nixie and the Frost Elf

I clear my throat. "So, did you change the topic of conversation onto me so that you could avoid carrying on with what you want?"

"Not on purpose," she admits. "But this is the first time I've talked about it, so I think I'm just nervous."

"Do you want me to ask questions, or do you want to talk first?"

"I can talk." She bites her bottom lip, which only draws my attention to it. "So I would like to try having sex with you. I think it's hard to say how I feel about things without really knowing what it's like. I've not had great experiences in the past."

"Not even your exes?" I remember her dating a couple of people when we were at school, though sex was the one thing we didn't talk about, now I'm starting to realise why.

"No. I was still figuring things out when I was with Ethan, and thought it was just inexperience that made me dislike what we were doing."

"I remember him. At the time, you said that he was pushy." It was before I'd recognised the mate bond between us, but even then, I'd wanted to protect her when he made her cry.

"He was. But I didn't realise what was wrong until much later."

"Nothing is wrong," I assure her quickly. "It's just different."

"Maybe. But it felt like something was wrong. Like I wasn't wired the same way as everyone else."

"You might be different. But that's not a bad thing. What about when you were with Natasha?" I ask, able to see on her face that she doesn't want to dwell on the idea of anything being different about her.

"Natasha ended things when I wanted to take things slow."

I blink a few times, never having realised, even if I was around when they broke up. "I never knew that." I should have paid better attention while all of this was going on, maybe then she wouldn't have felt the need to run away when she discovered that we were mates.

"I didn't want to admit it to you," she says quietly. "I thought that saying it out loud would mean that you'd ask questions I didn't have answers to. Or maybe that you'd give me answers that I wasn't ready to hear."

"Like?"

"That I was ace. Or that I didn't like sex. I don't really know. It seems so foolish now, because if I'd said something at the time, maybe I wouldn't have messed things up with you when I ran away."

"Maybe. Or I might have said the wrong thing, as sixteen-year-olds are prone to do," I attempt to joke.

She cracks a small smile, but I can still say tell that she's nervous.

"I'm sorry. I had no idea you felt like that." And I hate it. I hate even the mere idea that she had to go through part of her life with no idea whether people were going to understand her.

"In hindsight, I should have just said the words out loud. But I didn't."

"Things are different now."

"Yes. I know who I am. Or as well as anyone can know who they are at twenty-one."

"Fair point," I respond.

"It feels good to talk about it. Awkward, but good."

"I know what you mean. And we're going to keep talking about it, Lex." I take her hand more firmly in mine.

"Thank you." She reaches out and touches my face, trailing her hand down my cheek. "So I'm guessing that you'd like to...do something at some point."

I clear my throat. "If you want to."

"I think so," she responds. "I mean, it's about being close to you, and I want to do that. I also don't want to kill our relationship before it's even started."

"You're not going to kill it," I assure her.

"Maybe not. But I'd still like to try."