Page 17 of The Nixie and the Frost Elf

"So, how were lectures?" he asks.

"Good," I respond, letting out a small sigh about the fact that the conversation has moved on to safer ground. "What about you? My friend said that you're studying Healing."

He raises an eyebrow. "Did they?"

I clear my throat. "Sorry, yes. Erm, I was talking about our date, and she said she knew you from it."

"Is this the friend who's replaced me in your affections?" I can tell from his tone that it's an attempt at a joke, but there's genuine hurt beneath the surface.

I reach out to touch the back of his hand. "No one has ever replaced you, Edur," I say softly. Marnie and I have grown close in the months since we came to Rosewood, but it isn't the same.

He gives me a tight smile. "It's fine."

"It's not." I take a deep breath, ignoring the food on my plate. "I hurt you, and we shouldn't ignore that."

"It's over now," he says, not meeting my gaze, and I can tell that he's still hurt over it.

My heart constricts in response. I don't like being faced with the pain I've caused, especially when I should have talked to him. But it's easy for me to think that when I've spent the past three years thinking about it.

He picks up a beef spread sandwich and takes a bite out of it, but it doesn't hide the expression on his face. I feel like I'm making a mess of this before we've even started. I swallow hard, knowing that I need to focus on the relationship we can have now, even if I know my past choices are something we're going to have to deal with, even if I don't feel ready for that.

"How is healing going?" I ask softly, hoping that a change in subject will mean that we can move back to what we need to be doing and reconnecting.

"Well," he says with a small smile. "You know I've always wanted that."

I nod. "You talked about it all the time when we were younger." Maybe this is the wrong track for the conversation, considering that it's already taken us back again.

"I've got a long way to go. I'm going to be studying for years before I'm qualified. But I'm glad that I can get heading towards my goal. What about you? You said that you were taking history, but didn't you used to want to be a chemist?"

"I did, but I changed my mind," I admit. "Maybe history is the wrong thing for me to take. My parents were putting a lot of pressure on me to make a decision about what to study, so I just blurted it out."

He laughs. "You know that Rosewood offers general courses?"

I groan. "Yes, of course. But that's not enough to convince them. They wanted me to pick an actual subject. So that's what I did. I enjoy it, though."

"Maybe one day you'll be...I don't know, what do people with history degrees do?"

"That's not a question to ask me right now," I half-joke. "Especially not in front of my parents."

He chuckles. "I'll keep that in mind. Though I don't imagine I'll be seeing them for a while."

"Not until we're sure about this," I say. "It'll create too many questions otherwise."

"Do they know?"

I shake my head. "They've begged me to tell them why I wanted to leave school, but I never told them. I didn't want to have to explain."

He raises an eyebrow. "To anyone, apparently."

"I couldn't really explain to myself," I whisper, completely ignoring my food while I look at him. "I know it sounds harsh..."

"It's fine." He looks at his empty plate and reaches for another sandwich.

I curse myself. I can't believe that I'm messing this up. "It's not fine," I blurt out. "I made a mistake, and I'm sorry. But I know that being sorry isn't enough."

To my surprise, he reaches out and takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers together. "Apology accepted."

"But..."