Page 61 of Hard Pass

She blinks, clearly not expecting that.

Good.

I turn before she can recover, before she can push harder, and before I’ll say something that makes everything worse.

Guess I failed the crisis PR course. Sorry, Josie.

“Fuck,” I mutter as I stalk into the locker room.

Don’t want the looks.

Don’t want the questions.

Don’t want the goddamn phone lighting up with messages I don’t have the energy to answer.

So I keep moving through the noise, through the space, down the hall, and into a rehab room.

Gym mats on the floor. Exercise balls for rehabilitation. Peace and fucking quiet.

I drop my helmet on the floor and sink into the first chair I see.

And it’s like everything drops with me. The noise. The adrenaline. The anger. All of it gone.

But it leaves behind something much worse. Something I can’t shake from the silence.

I had it back. The control. The confidence. I felt like myself again.

And then . . . it was gone.

Dr. Hawley’s voice from our second session echoes in the back of my head.

“The tremor seems to come when you convince yourself it’s there. Pressure will exacerbate it.”

“Are you saying it’s all in my head?”

“Well, I wouldn’t use those words as I don’t want to dismiss what you’re experiencing. But if there’s no empirical evidence to suggest the contrary, then this is most likely a problem that can be resolved mentally.”

I drag a hand down my face, utterly defeated, and squeeze my eyes shut to prevent the tears that burn from ever seeing the light of day.

“This is most likely a problem that can be resolved mentally.”

“No shit.” I thought I had.

But acknowledging it doesn’t make it easier to fix so what in the hell am I supposed to do?

I stare at the floor, jaw tight, frustration coiling low in my chest. Everything is out of fucking control.

The throw replays over and over. The hitch. Wasinski’s words. The hesitation. The second everything fucking slipped.

“What about on the large player prop bet placed right before that play? My sources are saying there was a significant live money bet on that interception. Do you have any response to that?”

How the fuck is that possible?

And who the fuck are her sources telling her that quickly?

How?

“Fuck.”