Page 49 of Hard Pass

Her smile is soft. “I gathered that.”

There’s enough dry humor in her tone that I almost smile. Almost.

“What’s the issue?” she asks finally. “The real one.”

Where do I even begin? The investigation. My dad. The pressure. The fact that every throw suddenly feels like it carries the weight of my entire damn career.

“The yips,” I finally say. Safer than all the rest.

She nods once. “What about them?”

“I can’t explain it. One game I’m fine and the next it’s like I can’t trust myself anymore.” I lean forward, forearms braced on my knees. “And now the investigation on top of it. Every bad throw makes me look guilty.”

“That sounds overwhelming.”

“It’s exhausting.” The admission slips out before I can stop it.

Dr. Hawley stays quiet for a second before asking carefully, “When did you first notice the change?”

I look away toward the bookshelf. “It’s on and off. Probably a few weeks ago.”

“And what was happening in your life then?”

I shake my head. “You really do always circle back to feelings.”

“Because usually they matter.”

My chuckle is sarcastic.

“This only works if you want to be here, Cole,” she says calmly. “Just sitting in that chair isn’t going to magically fix anything.”

I nod. She’s right. I know it. And fuck, I’m so tired of feeling this way. The pressure. Hearing my father’s voice every time shit goes wrong. Wondering if everyone else is starting to see me the way I see myself lately—broken.

I stand abruptly before I can unpack any of that. “Same time next week?”

Her brows lift slightly like she knows exactly what I’m doing—retreating—but she doesn’t call me on it.

“For now,” she says.

“Great.” I head for the door.

“Cole?”

My hand pauses on the handle.

“The fact you showed up today, that you had the courage to, matters more than you think.”

I don’t answer.

Mostly because I’m not sure I believe her.

Partly because I want to.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Cole

I almost don’t go.