Page 205 of Hard Pass

My eyes burn. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“Then we’ll learn together,” he says, reaching out and tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “You and me.” He pauses a beat. “What happened to upset you?”

“Marcus called earlier,” I say as Cole stills. “He had his meeting with the league. Officially they’re requesting an internal review and reassurances and distance from any employee who could compromise perception.” My laugh is brittle. “Which is a very polished way of saying I’m out. He said he fought for me, but he didn’t. Not really. Because if he pushes too hard, the league could pull the contract and if GIA loses that, over half the company goes with it.”

“So he’s cutting you loose?”

“He doesn’t think he can keep me on the team because if I can’t work with the league on investigations, there isn’t exactly a role left for me.”

I press my palm to my mouth to hide the sob. Within seconds, Cole slides his hand behind my back and hooks the other behind my knees. He lifts me like I weigh nothing, but it’s not like I fight it.

He carries me out of the kitchen and lowers himself onto the couch with me in his lap. I’m stiff for a second, stupidly trying to prove I can hold myself together, but when his arms wrap around me—one between my shoulder blades and the other cupping the back of my head—and pull me in, I break.

Silent tears slide down my face. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

“Do not apologize for needing me.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head. “I spent my whole life being told love is something I had to earn. Don’t make me stand here and prove I’m useful before I’m allowed to give it to you.”

My heart cracks wide open. “Cole.”

“I need this too.” His voice is simple. Honest. “You. Us. This. I need you to let me be here for you even when it’s messy.”

I snuggle into him and revel in the warmth. In the safety. In not feeling so alone. “I love you,” I say quietly.

“I love you too.”

“You saw your dad today,” I whisper. “You okay?”

“No.” He clears his throat. “But I’m better than I was when I first walked in here.”

His hand moves slowly up and down my back. “Marcus is wrong.”

“Cole—”

“He is. I know you. What you do. How you do it. What you gave up to protect the integrity of this investigation even when it cost you personally.” He brushes a tender kiss to my lips that I can feel all the way to my toes. “And I know I’m not going to let them make a casualty of someone else’s betrayal.”

Something about the way he says it makes me pull back slightly.

“Cole?”

He looks at me for a split second and I see it. The thing he’s not telling me. “What do you—”

“Not tonight.” His hand comes up, fingers sliding along my jaw. “Not now. You’re the only one I want to talk to about the shitstorm swirling in my head but give me some time with it first. Yeah?”

The want to push and ask is there, but his eyes are raw and mine feel swollen and for once, I don’t have the strength to dissect the truth from the silence. But he also told me when he’s ready, he’ll find the words.

I am definitely okay with that.

He pulls me back into his chest and I let him.

And finally, I stop bracing for impact.

CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN

Cole

10 a.m. tomorrow works. I’ll get everything set.

I nod at my agent’s text. At least that part’s done. Now . . . this.