Page 193 of Hard Pass

The time is underlined twice beneath a phone number scribbled in Cole’s messy handwriting.

The clock on the microwave reads 8:12 a.m.

My breath stutters. I know what this means. He’s trying. Whatever happened last night, whatever’s eating him alive, he didn’t bury it. He didn’t ignore it and pretend it was fine.

He asked for help.

A small part of me aches that he didn’t feel he could come to me first, but a much larger part, the part that knows how hard vulnerability is for Cole Valor, is proud of him for going to see someone who might understand.

I trace my thumb over the underlined time once before setting the note back down carefully.

“Okay,” I whisper softly to the empty kitchen.

He’s going to be okay.

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

Cole

The office smells like usual—leather and citrus. Clean and controlled.

Everything in here is supposed to make you feel steady, and maybe this is the first time I’ve noticed it because I need that—to feel steady.

It isn’t working.

I sit forward, elbows on my knees, and hands clasped so tightly my knuckles ache. Or maybe the ache is from throwing the shit out of the medicine ball last night. Yeah. Probably that.

That has to be why the tremor was back and worse when I woke up this morning. It caused me to text her emergency line saying I needed to see her.

Dr. Hawley watches me from across the room, legs crossed, notepad resting on her thigh. She hasn’t written a single thing since I walked in.

Not sure if that should concern me or if it’s just a sign I’m beyond repair.

“You’re the one who texted the emergency line and asked to meet. I’m here and now you’re acting like you’re bothered that I am.” She angles her head to the side. Straight to the fucking point. “You’re free to leave if you don’t want to talk.”

I sigh and grip the arms of the chair to hide the trembling that hits every so often. I grit my teeth and then nod. “It was a rough night.” I clear my throat. “I was struggling with how to deal with it.”

“So you thought of me.”

“Yeah. That’s what I’m supposed to do, right?”

Not even remotely offended, a slight smile ghosts her lips. “It is. I’m glad you did.”

Whether I’m glad is yet to be decided.

“So, Cole, what happened last night?”

I huff out a breath and drag a hand over the back of my neck. “I told you, it was a bad night.”

Her brows lift slightly. “That’s not what I asked.”

Of course it’s not.

I stare at the floor for a second longer than necessary. We both know I’m deciding whether to bullshit her or not.

“Found out someone close to me has been screwing me over.”

There it is. Surface level. Safe.