Page 157 of Hard Pass

Then there’s spontaneous Cole who grabs my hand at midnight and tells me we’re leaving. Our adventures have ranged from getting ice cream to taking a midnight cruise on the lake in his boat—the one I didn’t even know he had—to driving out to farm country so he could show me all the baby calves that he’d seen when he’d driven past earlier in the week.

And I sure as shit am not going to leave out sexy Cole. The man is selfless in bed. He’s fun and creative and attentive in ways I’ve never experienced before.

She opens her mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. “Okay. Wow. Not to sound like a harsh friend sounding like she doubts you, but . . . how do you know it’s love?”

I bark out a laugh. “Seriously?”

“Yes. Seriously. I need details. Signs. Symptoms. Scientific evidence.”

I shake my head, smiling despite myself. “How did you know with Brian?”

Willa’s expression softens instantly. “That’s easy,” she says quietly. “He became my first call for everything. Good days. Bad days. Random thoughts. Stupid jokes. And somewhere along the way, I realized that every version of my future that made me happy had him in it.”

The fact that I understand her words, how they feel when I apply them to Cole, only reinforces how I feel.

“And?” she asks.

“They say you see the real person in their worst of times, and that it’s how they are then that defines their character. We’re both there right now, both dealing with this shit, and he just keeps showing up for me in ways that matter. Or rather in ways I never thought would matter before but now realize do.” I smile. “He’s where I want to be when everything feels hard.”

“That’s huge.”

“And,” I add dryly, “because apparently, I now own a football jersey. That should have been the first warning sign.”

“Dublin Locke, voluntarily wearing sports merchandise because of a man?” She snorts. “You really have fallen for him, haven’t you?”

“Apparently.”

“Well shit. I didn’t have that on my bingo card. I had you pegged for playing house and having incredible toe-curling sex while you waited this out.”

“There’s that too.” I flash a wicked grin that has her tapping her glass to mine and shaking her head.

“Good for you.”

I exhale. “But you’re right. I thought that’s all this was. Temporary. An offer to stay because he felt guilty. Some companionship to get through the storm.”

“And now?”

“Now I don’t know how to separate it.”

“Does he know?” she asks.

I shake my head. “Have I said the words out loud? Absolutely not.”

“You’re afraid he doesn’t feel the same?”

“Obviously.” I bark out a laugh as nerves jingle, but if he didn’t feel similarly, I’d know.

She smiles softly. “How wildly terrifying for you, the woman who hates feeling out of control.”

“Yes. No. I mean, let’s just see what happens when this all blows over and I move back into my place.”

“Love is love, Dub. You can’t turn it on and off.”

“Huh. That’s what I’m afraid of.” My phone vibrates on the table. “My ride’s here.”

She lifts her eyebrows. “You didn’t drive?”

“Cole dropped me off. Said he’d be my designated driver and pick me up.”