Page 140 of Hard Pass

It’s none of that and all of it at the same time. I went and fucking fell for her.

“Cole?”

I shake my head and let the laugher fade. “Yeah. I’m good. I’m fucking great actually.”

“You sure?” Concern floods her voice as she shifts and places her hand on my bicep from the back seat.

“Yes.”

She squeezes. “Thank you,” she whispers. “You didn’t need to do that, say that.”

“I know, but . . .” I’ve taken it for so long and don’t want to take it anymore. “It would make me less of a man to preach to you about walking through the fire with me but not showing them I’m willing to fight their fire with our own.”

“You’ll never know how much that meant to me.”

“I told you that you bring out the best in me.” It’s supposed to be a joke, but I struggle to swallow over the lump in my throat. “You don’t deserve any of that shit. Someone needed to say it.”

I glance at her in the mirror and even though it’s dark, I can see the tears glistening in her eyes. Can see the gratitude in them. I hold her stare as long as is reasonably safe before I look back toward the road.

“May I ask where we’re going?” she says quietly.

“Home,” I say. “To my house where you’re going to stay until this all blows over.”

“I’m fine. You don’t need to—”

“I know you are, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to make sure of it.”

“This isn’t necessary.”

“It is to me.”

She falls quiet and our eyes meet in the mirror again. She’s watching me, trying to read me.

“My neighborhood is gated. No one can get in past the security gate unless I authorize it. That means that you don’t have to be worried about photographers lurking around outside your windows. No assholes yelling shit at you. No one harassing you.”

“I can handle myself.”

“I’m well the fuck aware you can.” My grip tightens on the wheel. “I have more rooms than I need. You can have one to stay in. The other to work out of. I’ll take you to your place in the morning to grab your things. I just . . . let me do this one thing I know I can’t fuck up—take care of you—since you feel like everything else is just that—fucked up.”

She is slow to respond and when she does resignation is in her voice. “Okay.”

Good. Because I wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“Both of us are involved in this. The last thing I’m going to do is let you carry this alone.”

And this time, I mean it.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Dublin

The turns. The stoplights. The way the city fades from noise to quiet as we leave it behind.

They all zoom past the car’s windows, but all I can focus on is Cole’s voice seeping in through the closed car doors.

“If you’re looking for someone to blame, then look at me.”

No one has ever stood up for me like that. Yeah, sure, he’s stepped up in ways for me that I never imagined since this all went down, but that was nowhere on my bingo card.