Page 133 of The Backup Plan

His smile softens, turns almost reverent. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

That’s when the knife twists in my heart. I’ve had to deliver a lot of bad news as a doctor, but this one is going to hurt more than most others.

He pulls me into his chest, holding me like this is the beginning of something uncomplicated and good. And I stand there wrapped in his happiness, hating that I’m carrying the thing that’s going to shatter it.

Shatter him.

“Yes.” I blink away the tears. “Definitely time to celebrate. We can’t go out but . . . I’ll go buy some ridiculously expensive wine. You order some food, and we’ll have a little celebration here.”

“Perfect,” he says and presses a kiss to my lips.

I’ll tell him tomorrow.

Or the next day.

Soon.

I don’t know which is crueler—letting him celebrate now or knowing what’s waiting when I finally open my mouth.

All I know is I can’t do it tonight.

Not while his joy is real.

Not while he believes everything is falling into place.

Lucas

The wine tastes better than it should.

Or maybe it’s just the fact that I’m sitting across from Emery, watching her laugh, watching the way the candlelight flickers across her face as she tells me a story I’ve already heard twice—and still I don’t want her to stop.

She’s smiling. Laughing. Here.

And yet . . . something’s off.

I can’t put my finger on it, but I feel it in pauses that linger a half a second too long. In the way her eyes drift when she thinks I’m not looking. Like she’s holding something in and is afraid if she opens her mouth, it’ll spill out.

“You’re staring,” she says above the rim of her glass.

I grin. “I get a free pass to stare. To kiss you. To touch you.”

“I mean if that’s how you prefer to celebrate . . .” Her eyebrows quirk up but her smile doesn’t fully reach her eyes.

“As long as it’s with you.”

I can’t remember ever having someone to celebrate something like this other than Brendan or my teammates.

This feels different.

It feels special.

It feels . . . permanent.

And I’m not sure what that means, but I like it.

God, I feel fucking incredible.

Not just happy, but steady. Settled. There’s that fucking word again.