Page 130 of Threaded Lies

“What would those be?”

“Ask him.” He shrugs. “That’s not for me to say.”

“Screw you, Holden.”

He stares at me, the muscle pulsing in his jaw, and then with absolute indifference states, “I believe we did that already.”

I don’t know the sound I emit but it’s a mixture of frustration and hurt. Of pain and disbelief. Of my heart breaking and belief in him shattering. “I came here last night because I needed you. Because I’m head over heels in love with you despite everything you say to me, every goddamn warning you give me not to believe you’re a good guy.”

The words are out, the ones I can’t take back, but he doesn’t even flinch at hearing them for the first time. At knowing I’m in love with him.

It hurts to breathe. The action. The air. Everything about it.

“Say something,” I scream at him. “Fucking act like you care.”

But he doesn’t do or say anything other than stand there with his eyes locked on mine and disinterest emanating off every part of him.

He’s shut down. His wall is up. There’s no reaching him now.

I love him.

I love him and I said it and now I can’t take it back as the truth strands in the no-man’s-land between us.

But even worse than that feeling is the fact that Holden stands before me, body taut, tears welling in his eyes, jaw clenched, and doesn’t say a fucking word.

Not one.

And my heart breaks all over again.

“I have to go.” My voice cracks as I collect my things and head for the door.

“Rowan.”

My body stops on reflex but it feels like my heart keeps going and slams into my rib cage. The pain is more excruciating than I’ve ever known.

He says my name but it’s not to stop me from leaving. It’s not to explain or to apologize. It’s to ask me something.

It’s for himself. How fitting.

I give him the only answer I can think he’d be asking a question to. I give it to him because I need something in return.

“Don’t worry. I know. I can’t tell your little plan to anyone. I read my contract. I know anything I see or say to you is under strict NDA or I could be prosecuted. Fine. Fuck you, but fine. But if what we shared meant anything to you, do me one favor.”

He stands there and dips his chin down to tell me to ask.

“Don’t destroy TinSpirits while my dad is on the road to recovery. That will kill him. He has a weak heart and now he’s hurt. That company—our company—is his pride and joy. Knowing it’s ending, his family’s legacy is going to be destroyed, will make him lose the will to fight. Promise me you won’t sell off a single piece off it until I know he’s going to be okay.”

There is a long pause while we stand and stare at each other with a couch between us that we made love on last night. Because we did make love. There is no question about that.

“I’m sorry, Rowan. I can’t make a promise that I won’t keep.”

FIFTY-FOUR

Holden

It takes everything I have not to chase after her.

To not pull her against me and apologize and tell her every deep, dark secret I have. Every thread of revenge I plan to exact. Every way that I too have fallen for her.