Page 122 of Sweet Surrender

“Remind me why I’m friends with you assholes?” Jase asks.

“Because without us, you’d have no personality,” Rocket says.

Vince laughs. “And no one to tell you when you’re making a complete fool of yourself over Hendrix.”

I suck in a breath, my heart doing a weird, stupid flip, but I recover quickly and try to make sure my expression says the same.

Jase’s fingers tighten slightly on my waist, but he doesn’t take the bait. Instead, he flicks a chip toward Vince and stretches back in the chair, shifting just enough to make me realize I’ve been in his lap way too long.

“I need to go inside,” I blurt out, pushing myself up and off him.

Jase lets me go—too easily, too casually. “Need an escape from these fuckers? That’s a daily occurrence for me.”

A chorus of “fuck offs” ring out.

“I’ll be back in a few,” I say and head toward the house.

I just reach the door when a voice stops me.

“So . . . you banging him for the fame? I mean that rock is worth it alone.”

I turn to find Rocket’s date, Carly, standing beside me, a smug expression on her face.

“Excuse me?”

Carly shrugs, sipping her drink. “Don’t shoot the messenger. I mean, it’s Jase’s schtick, right? Hook up with the hired help for a bit and then move on when he gets bored?” She tilts her head, watching me closely. “No doubt that’ll be sooner rather than later. I will say you’ve lasted longer than most but believe me, I’ve seen it a dozen times or so. I get you have the ring and the last name, but you’ll probably be needing to bake some of those divorce cookies for yourself in the near future.”

The words cut through me. Because that’s exactly what people will think when this ruse is up. And I’ll get to see and hear it all from social media and looky-loos, enthusiastically, like Carly, rubbing my nose in my failure to keep him interested.

I should laugh it off. I should tell her she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. But bitterness lodges itself in my throat, and I can’t shake the sting of her words or the hurt they cause.

I don’t want to believe her.

But the truth is, I don’t know where Jase and I stand. I don’t know if this means anything outside of the arrangement we started with. I mean, I clearly have feelings for him, but is this still a charade to him? Is this more?

I have a feeling I’m not asking him because I’m afraid of the answer. Because even though I’ve made strides in finding myself again, I can be honest when I say if history dictates itself, I know I’ll be the one left hurt. Again.

I don’t respond to Carly. I just turn and walk away.

But her words are on replay in my head all night.

Over.

And over.

When the game winds down and everyone starts heading out, I keep my distance from Jase. I clean up the kitchen instead of lingering by his side as he says goodbye to all his guests, ignoring the way he keeps glancing at me like he can sense something’s wrong.

“Hendrix?” His voice is softer now as he steps up behind me.

I keep scrubbing the counter, pretending I don’t feel him standing there. “You should get some sleep. It’s late.”

“You okay?”

I nod. Lie. “I’m fine.”

Jase watches me for a long moment, and I can tell he doesn’t believe me. But he doesn’t push.

Not yet.