Page 76 of Until You

I’m sucker-punched by the sight of him. I shouldn’t be, considering I see him every day now, but there’s something about the moment, about the look on his face, and his presence in general, that makes me sit back and admire the whole of him.

I know this won’t last—it can’t with the complication that is my life—and yet I know, if I had my pick of a guy I’d want, he would be just like Crew.

He would be Crew.

“It’s a nice night. Want to take a walk?”

“Um, sure.” This is a first.

But rather than grabbing the girls like I expect him to, Crew sets the alarm and then shuts the door behind us. “They’re fine without it, but they like to have it on when I’m not here,” he explains.

I nod and follow his lead as we head down one of the nearby horse trails. Once we’re out of eyesight of the house, he links his fingers with mine.

We walk in comfortable silence as the summer sun slowly makes its way toward the horizon. Its shine highlights the tall grass, giving it a halo of sorts, as it sways in the evening breeze. The trees stand tall around us with their birds chirping and flitting around from branch to branch.

“Thank you for inviting me today to help out. It was a lot of fun meeting people and helping build the stands.”

“You’re not mad at me for subjecting you to the ogling eyes of the Redemption Falls women’s club?”

“A little ogling every now and again does good for a man’s ego.”

“Oh, please. As if every time you step into town, you’re not followed around like you’re the Pied Piper and they’re just hoping to get your attention.”

“Whatever.” He laughs good-naturedly and swings our joined hands. “If I had to hear one more time what a great body and throaty laugh you had, I might have swung the hammer and accidentally missed and hit someone.”

“Throaty laugh? Who says that?”

“Well, me. I was checking out one of those romance novels you edit. Picked it up at the library. I figured that’s as good of an adjective as any to pick up and use. Besides, you do have a throaty laugh, and it’s sexy as hell.”

“Hmph.”

We walk a bit more, laughing at two squirrels on the path that are fighting over the same piece of food.

“So are you glad you chose to help with Founder’s Day this year? Was it everything you hoped for in small-town living?” he asks.

I stare out toward the horizon and take a moment to figure out where this question is coming from. I grew up in a small town. Well, not Tennyson West, but Tessa Miller did. And thanks to my parents’ bad reputation and known alcoholism, I couldn’t wait to get as far away from it and them as possible. To have a fresh start where no one knew my family. Where I could simply be Tessa Miller, the new girl without any stigma attached to my name.

But of course, I can’t tell Crew that.

“It’s been fun helping out. Feeling a part of things here. I grew up as an army brat, and probably still am one at heart because I’m not used to putting down roots. Every time I start to, there’s that voice in the back of my mind telling me I shouldn’t. Giving in to the fear. Afraid that if I do, I’ll be uprooted, and it’ll hurt more if I’m attached to the people and the place.”

“So what would you consider this? The helping out? Are you trying to put down roots now?”

I nod. “I guess. It’s silly to be scared to, but I figured I had to at least try.”

“Hmm,” he says, and I’m not exactly thrilled with the sound. “So you plan on moving on then?”

“No. Not really. Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“So you’re not running from something, then?”

His words catch me off guard, my whole body faltering at his question. “No. Why would you ask something like that?” I give a mock laugh and roll of my eyes. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it? I mean, it’s okay if you are. Everyone is running from something. Hell, look at me. I’m here because I’m running from the implosion of my life over the past year and a half, so there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I just thought it was an important thing for me to know.”

I try not to sputter a response, but he has completely taken me by surprise. Instead, I opt for silence because right now, that might be a better option for me.

We walk for a few feet, and I can feel his doubt weighing everything down.