Page 113 of Until You

I don’t want him to go back to Chicago. God, I don’t think my heart can take that.

But in the same breath, if he goes back, then this life of mine, this past of mine, can’t put him and the girls in danger.

On the flip and more than ironic side, isn’t being with Crew the reason I feel that having a real life, a life full of love and laughter with someone else, is possible?

I hate to dream but live to dream for it.

For waking up with the girls giggling downstairs, squabbling over what’s for breakfast while Crew hands me a cup of coffee and grants me that quiet smile of his.

Normalcy.

Simplicity.

Stolen kisses in pantries.

Slow dances on living room floors.

Sunsets in comfortable silence.

Tangled sheets and soft sighs.

Unconditional love.

A life everyone deserves but that I never thought I’d get to have again.

Is it too much that I want to be selfish for once? That I deserve the chance to be?

I love him.

Plain.

Simple.

I love him, and I need him to know.

Quite the revelation when I’m standing in the snack aisle at Target. But I don’t care. I throw my head back and laugh. I’m in love. He loves me.

We’ll figure this out.

Isn’t that how love works?

Forget the chips. I need to get home.

I leave my basket in the chip and cracker aisle and start heading through the store, distracted in thought and filled with a hope I haven’t felt in the longest time.

Crew.

Addy.

Paige.

They’re my hope.

I dig in my purse for my phone as I pass the electronics section, and when I look up, I stop dead in my tracks.

Rangi.

Agent Halston.