Page 38 of Out of Control

I stand at the side of the pits and watch the dog and pony show on the podium. Not a fan of the show per se but am never mad when I’ve placed high enough that I get to be up there performing for it.

“Tough one out there,” Alec says as he steps up beside me, “but we fared well. No one is going to complain about a sixth-place finish.”

But I am. But I will.

I nod. “I can do better,” I say.

My timing was off when it’s never off. The car needed more push. It has some understeer that I fought all day. The fucking heat ran the car ragged . . . but my choice on the tires was the right one.

When I move through the crowd and back toward the hospitality tent, I glance in Cruz’s garage. I see him, his fiancée, his father, but don’t see the one person I’m looking for.

She’s not here.

And I don’t know if that pisses me off or makes me proud of her.

A part of me wants to ask Cruz where she is, stir that pot, but think better of it. Last thing I need to do is cause more conflict for her with her family when it’s clear she’s conflicted enough.

But it makes me surly. When’s the last time I looked for anyone after a race? Blair. When Blair was mine. I used to look for her before and after every race, but now I can see how truly selfish I was. Demanding. Expecting. Not caring about her needs. Fuck . . . the things I said to her? The ways I made her feel less than? Not my proudest moments.

But she’s found the man who does. The right man for her. So at least there’s that.

I head toward my driver’s room, wanting a quick shower before heading to face the media, and come face to face with Stavros.

Vitriol pools on my tongue but I bite it back. “Sir,” I say and go to walk past him. Better to not say anything than to fuck things up and say what I really think.

“Why the hostility?” Stavros asks, causing me to stop.

“Hostility?” I meet his dark brown eyes and bushy gray eyebrows.

He nods. “I’d think you’d be a little more gracious, don’t you? You’re lucky you have a ride after the stunt you pulled with Evans last season,” he says about an on-track incident I had with my then teammate. Tires touched. Blame was put my way. I took the punishment from the FIA. But I don’t respond, I just lift my eyebrows in response. “In fact, you should be kissing my ass you have a ride.”

“Good to know you still hate me then,” I say with a tight smile.

“I still think you’re reckless and a danger to everyone on that track, but hate is a strong word for a man I’m paying to win for me.”

I nod and glance over my shoulder. Guess my decorum lasted a whole five minutes. “Let’s get one thing crystal fucking clear. I win for me and no one else. Sure, if I win, you make money, Stavros, and that must kill you to know that. But at the same time, we both know there’s no better driver on this track that you could have gotten than me. So love me, hate me, it doesn’t fucking matter which one you decide on because both fuel me. Just know that everything I do on that track is for me and me alone. Anything you get in return is simply dividends.”

He stares at me, eyes blinking and lips pursed. “Exactly. You just proved my point. You’re not a team player.”

“And I wonder who made me that way? Huh? Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to speak with the media and then do our team debrief after. All things you are also paying me for.” I start to walk away and then turn back to face him. “One more thing. By season end, I’ll have earned more points for this team than my counterpart. I promise you that.”

I push into my private room and shut the door at my back.

Cruz isn’t the only one who can race on this team.

I’ll fucking prove that.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Sofia

“Yes. That would be perfect. I’m happy to take whatever piece you’re willing to part with and display it in the gallery.” I do a mock fist pump. It was definitely worth stopping my run to take this call.

“I think Lying in Wait is the perfect piece, especially with the demographic of your clientele there,” Arturo Caminiti says about my favorite painting of his.

“Great. That’s . . . amazing.” I grin and gesticulate wildly, grateful he can’t see me silently freaking out.

“Once you have the space ready, let me know and I’ll get it packaged and shipped your way.”