Page 35 of Out of Control

I smile and spend the next few minutes trying to get Marla out the door. While I welcome her profusive positivity, which I take with a grain of salt as she did just make a hefty commission off me, I need a few minutes to myself. Plus, with her gone, I’ll be assured there won’t be any witnesses when that momentary freak-out over what I just did makes its impending appearance.

“Well, congratulations. Again.”

“Thank you.”

It takes a few minutes after she leaves for the silence and the magnanimity of what I just did to hit.

For the doubt to meld with my excitement. For the uncertainty to pair with my optimism. For the holy shit to recognize my defiance.

That whole bottle of champagne is looking good about now.

I jump when my cell rings and answer on the second ring.

“You text me, I’m doing it, with no other context and then don’t answer your phone the numerous times I call over the past hour so that I’m left to freak-out and wonder if doing it means that hot Italian hunk from the music festival again?” Lilith all but screams as a means of greeting.

I laugh. It’s all I can do and exactly what I needed in this very moment. God bless Lilith and her perfect timing. “No. This has nothing to do with Rossi.” But at the same time everything to do with him and the truths he said to me last night.

She’s quiet for a beat and then, when I don’t add to my explanation, says, “Well, you’re a fount of information now, aren’t you?”

“Always.” I chuckle.

“But you’re not at the race—which by the way, right now both men on Team Gravitas are holding their own in,” she says, making that pang of regret and dose of reality hit me even harder. I’m so wrapped up in this, in me, that I may have subconsciously pushed the race to the back of my mind. More like ignored it so I could forgo the guilt. “So that means you defied your grandfather about needing to be there, apparently said fuck you to Cruz by leaving last night at some point—”

“More like I sent him a text this morning saying I had to leave. That there was an emergency with one of the charities and I needed to be there.”

“And I’m sure that didn’t raise any red flags,” she says sarcastically.

Well, it was either that or cave to the number one, walking red flag my brother keeps warning me about like I found myself wanting to.

Who knew I was attracted to red, huh?

“I’ve received a bunch of texts from Maddix on his behalf trying to make sure all is well. I’ve assured her it is. That all was taken care of but then I freaked out that I messed with his head and he had to race and . . . oh my God, Lil, it sounds so ridiculous now, doesn’t it? An emergency at a charity?”

“You’ve yet to tell me what it is that you did, so I can’t exactly say if it sounds ridiculous or not . . . but I’m going with a yes at this point,” she teases.

“I rented the space.”

“Whoa. I think I need a moment to process this.” She takes a dramatic pause. “You mean you actually did it?”

My grin widens, as the approval and pride in her voice means everything to me. “I did.”

“Just like that? After all this time saying you were going to . . . you actually did it?”

I nod even though she can’t see it, as if the action will push the burgeoning panic away. “Yep. Just like that.”

“And which place did you decide on?”

“Monaco. On the main drag. The one with—”

“The incredible view?”

“That one. Yes. It was too perfect to pass up. It was already set up as a gallery space so not too many tenant improvements are needed.”

“Okay, so that comes back to my question from the get-go. Why the sudden urgency to act when this has been something you’ve talked about for a year but never pulled the trigger on? I mean, let’s be honest, you have all the money in the world so starting the gallery isn’t about making it. You have charity work coming out of your ass so that keeps you busy, not to mention keeping your family together and functioning is a whole other job we’re not going to even get into . . . so tell me the one thing you didn’t answer me before, why now?”

“Maybe it was because I couldn’t before.”

“And you can now?”