Page 21 of Out of Control

But for me, as I curl on my side, my body deliciously sore from the pleasure Oliver Rossi gave me, I’m reminded of lust’s truth.

That it’s an unforgiving narcotic that offers pleasure before it burns bright with pain.

But isn’t that what I wanted? The bright light? Its blinding euphoria? The chance to be someone else for a weekend?

The walk on the wild side?

Yes. Yes. And yes.

What does that mean though when I’m forced back to reality? How will I feel when I see him regularly? When I’m no longer Simply Sofia from Spain and I want more?

CHAPTER SEVEN

Sofia

“I don’t understand.”

I sigh and cross my arms over my chest. The villa is laid out before me. It’s acres upon acres of fertile land that has been in the Navarro family for years. Vines of varying grapes hang from trellises, waiting to be pressed and fermented when the time is right. It’s merely a hobby for our private stock and not how the Navarros made their money.

There’s history here. Our ancestors being tied to the Spanish monarchy in some shape or form is where the money and land originally came from. That money had been invested wisely but it was my grandfather, el patriarca, who made Navarro a revered name in motorsports. The first Spaniard to win a Formula 1 championship and one who’s made a lasting impact on the sport.

I glance over to him now. He’s in his wheelchair on the patio. His face is lifted to the sun, but his eyes are closed as if he’s absorbing its warmth and finding whatever it is he seeks there.

My heart swells at the sight of a man who’s given me so much—unconditional love, temerity, and reprimand when needed. He’s the reason I try so hard to hold this family together. Why my last name means so much to me. It’s not his fame or fortune I admire, but his quiet, unyielding presence in my life.

When you live in a house of chaos growing up, you cling to the things that ground you. You fight for them. And those two things are people—my grandfather and my brother.

“Did you fall off a cliff?” Cruz asks in my ear and startles me back to our conversation.

“Nope, still waiting subserviently for you to tell me exactly why you don’t understand my need to not stand quietly beside you like a trophy. Isn’t that Maddix’s job?” I say with sickeningly sweet sarcasm, referencing his fiancée.

“First, Madds would kick your butt for even suggesting that she’s going to be a trophy and second, what crawled up your ass? All I asked is why you’re not coming to the first race of the season. You always do.”

Why am I not going? How about because Rossi will be there—obviously—and I’m not one hundred percent sure what that means for me yet. Have I wanted more of him? Most definitely. But now that I’m back in my everyday life, Navarro is tacked onto Simply Sofia. And as is with all facets when it comes to my surname, numerous things are unacceptable.

Like a certain Italian who doesn’t live up to the family standards.

But oh wait, I can’t say that because you told me he was off limits.

“Um . . . because I can’t.” Brilliant answer. One for the ages, Sofia.

“Because you can’t.” He chuckles and it has that big brother snark to it that tells me he’s not buying shit and is already trying to figure out the why behind it.

“Exactly what I said. Because I can’t.”

“I see,” he says and falls quiet as I move a few feet away from el patriarca as to not disturb him. “Who is it that you’re avoiding?”

Shit. Am I that transparent?

“No one.” I roll my eyes even though he can’t see it.

“It’s not my crew, it’s not my team, and it sure as shit isn’t Rossi.” He emits a low hum of disapproval in reference to his new teammate while I quietly prevent myself from audibly choking on a breath of air. “So who is it?”

“Oh my God, you’re maddening,” I say. “You think the only reason I’m not coming is because I slept with someone on the circuit? Wow. Chauvinist much?” The minute the words are out, I cringe. El patriarca just heard that. Awesome. I don’t care how old you are, your grandfather hearing you talk about sleeping with someone is always embarrassing.

“The girl goes to a music festival and comes back with even more sarcasm and sass than when we sent her.” He chuckles playfully.

“You didn’t send me anywhere. In fact, you didn’t even want me to go.”