Page 53 of Over the Limit

“Good. Then the objective was achieved.”

Lachlan shifts on his feet, looks down for a beat, and clears his throat before looking up to meet my gaze with a clarity that is almost unnerving. “I meant to do that, Blair. To kiss you. I don’t want you to think otherwise. None of this, it was a mistake, it was just the moment, bullshit. I hands down meant to do that and goddamn it”—he laces his fingers at the back of his neck and pulls as he chuckles—“I’d do it again if given the chance.”

I struggle to swallow over the lump of emotions lodged in my throat.

“But I can’t. It’s not right. You told me I was a man with a good sense of right and wrong and what I did back there wasn’t right.”

Can this man be any more perfect?

“That’s for me to decide,” I say.

He nods as he purses his lips briefly. “Yeah, but . . . there’s too much riding on this goddamn season, and I’m not the type of man who takes another’s woman. Between the shitstorm us being together would cause and . . . that’s not who I am.”

“I’m not anyone’s—”

“But you were. For a long time.” He takes another step back as if the physical distance will help him believe the emotional distance he’s attempting to create. “I make no qualms about wanting you, but I refuse to take advantage of you and your vulnerability right now.”

“You weren’t taking advantage of me. I wanted the kiss too,” I whisper.

“That makes two of us.” His flicker of a smile makes my stomach flip. “But I’m not about to fuck up my team when everything I want is just within reach. I’ve worked so goddamn hard for this—for my career—and while I think you’re damn fucking worth it, I can’t risk the fallout.”

“I wouldn’t want you to. You don’t think there’d be fallout for me too? A race chaser hopping from one driver to the next? I mean . . .”

“Exactly. We both have a lot on the line and that’s something we need to consider if we choose to pursue this.”

“If we choose to?”

He nods, that muscle pulsing in his jaw like this whole situation is tormenting him. “I’m not a rebound, Blair.”

“Lachlan. That’s not—”

“I know that’s what you think right now, but you need time to sort your feelings out. To know for sure what you might want. I’m not a half-arsed kind of guy. That might be what you’re used to, but that’s not me. That’s not how I operate.” He glances down to my lips and then back up to my eyes. “It takes twenty-one days to make or break a habit. To know what you want or don’t want.”

I chuckle. “What are you saying?”

“I think . . .” He swears under his breath almost as if he can’t believe he’s saying this, and the simple act alone makes him even sexier. The torment his next words hold are everything. “Twenty-one days. You need to take them, take time for yourself, before jumping into something with me.”

“You think twenty-one days is all it takes to fall in or out of love?”

“No. I don’t know shit. But I know how I am, Blair. I know I’m all or nothing. And you need to know who you are and what you want. I know what I want.”

“What do you want?” I’m afraid to ask because I might not like the answer.

“I want to stay with Apex, but I’ve been warned not to make waves. That all eyes are on me and Rossi and neither of us can make a mistake. And honestly, I never believed I’d want to juggle a relationship and this crazy life of mine. Too many distractions. Not enough time. Too much outside noise. But even in this brief time we’ve gotten to know each other, you make me think I could. That I want to. And as you could see tonight, it’s fucking with my head.”

“I understand,” I say softly.

“No, I don’t think you do.” He smiles incredulously. “I adore everything about you, Blair. The things I’ve learned. The things I know I’m going to learn. You make me feel things I’m not used to, and it’s only been a few weeks. That’s not normal. It’s you who makes me want to take the risk and try to do this. But it’s also you who needs to be damn sure you want this too . . . that’s why we need the twenty-one days to break . . . whatever it is we need to break.”

His words are like a balm to my soul that has been craving intention and conviction and . . . everything he represents. Is it way too intense?

Yes. But isn’t that Lachlan Evans? Intensity and passion rolled into one? Isn’t that the man I’ve learned to like and want to spend more time with? Isn’t that the person I’m desperate to get to know better?

And where he’s intense, I’m the polar opposite. I need levity to balance me out. To let him know I heard him but that I get a say in how this goes too. That I matter.

“And what if I want you to be my habit?” I tease.

His grin is lightning fast. So is his step back as his entire posture eases and he holds his hands out to his sides. “Then, baby, here I am . . . but only after twenty-one days. That’s the rules and I don’t ever break my own rules. Team. Teammate. Crew.”