Page 101 of On The Edge

I’m home within minutes but a weird panic hits when I open the front door and Maddix isn’t there. Fuck.

“Where are you, Madds?” I say into the emptiness.

The minute the idea hits me, I’m back in the hallway and running up the stairwell to the roof. I fling the door open with a desperation. I need to make things right.

It’s a makeshift outdoor space with a few chairs and a built-in pergola. There are some hanging plants that the heiress on the third floor takes care of, and a fire pit that the socialite from the fifth had delivered years ago. It’s nothing fancy but it serves its purpose on nights when I feel cooped up in my place.

Relief surges when I see her standing there. Her back’s to me and the ocean’s beyond. Loose strands of her hair blow in the breeze coming off the water. Her feet are bare, heels on the ground beside her.

She takes my breath away.

Fuck. Just fuck.

How did she creep past my defenses? Why am I not mad about it?

“Madds.”

“Don’t, Cruz. Just don’t,” she says, her voice nasally. She’s crying. Even worse.

I’m that much of an asshole that I made my pretend girlfriend, who is now my . . . whatever we are, cry. It sucks.

“I should have told you,” I say softly. Why lie? It’s the truth.

“Here I thought tonight was because . . . it doesn’t matter.” She shrugs the words off that my mind fills in for her.

Real.

Official.

Because I wanted to see you like this in my element.

Because I wanted to show you off as mine.

“It does matter.” I reach out to touch her, but she steps back to avoid it. It’s like a knife in the heart when, for the longest time, I swore I didn’t have one.

When her eyes meet mine, the tears in them glisten and twist the knife a little harder. “You lied to me. I wasn’t invited tonight. I wasn’t even supposed to be there.”

“You’re wrong. I wanted you there.”

“You wanted me there as a fuck you to your dad. For trying to control you. For telling you who to date. How to race. How to live. For whatever it is that I don’t understand.”

“He doesn’t control me,” I state.

“It doesn’t matter if he does or he doesn’t, you used me as a pawn tonight and didn’t have the courtesy to tell me. You made me think it was me you wanted there when all you really wanted was a prop to put the screws to him.”

“Maddix.” My voice is an apology in and of itself, but I know it’s not going to be enough.

She holds her hands up for me to stop. “It doesn’t matter, right? None of this does. Soon enough, the board will meet again, and you’ll be approved to move forward with the deal. Then you’ll be rid of me and your dad will get his way.” Her smile is as strained as her words.

But it’s her words that have a lump forming in my throat. “I’ll never let him get his way. That’s what tonight was about. I went about it the wrong way. I should have told you. I should have—”

“You’re right. You should have. You don’t think I would have supported the idea? That I wouldn’t help you?” Her head angles to the side and for the briefest of moments, I’m not sure which hurt her more—me lying to her or me not confiding in her. The fact of the matter is, I’m not used to having anyone to share anything with. Apart from Sofia, I tell little to anyone. And prior to Maddix, I trained, raced, fucked, partied, slept, and thought only about myself.

I never let anyone in. Never let anyone know the real me, and I was fine with it that way.

Then came Madds and her patience and her fire and her selflessness. Then came a woman I suddenly valued more than I thought was possible.

I trust her.