Page 87 of On One Condition

“No. Not Ledger. I don’t want him to have anything to do with this.”

“You know that sounds crazy, right? He owns the damn resort, yet you think he’s not going to know?”

“I don’t care if he knows after my proposal has been accepted, but not before. No way. I want to get the partnership on my own merit. Not because he gave me a handout.”

“A handout and a hand are two different things,” she asserts.

“Promise me you won’t say anything to him if you see him.”

“Fine. Whatever. But how are you going to keep all of this from him when he comes here?”

“He’s seen the outside of the barn but not the inside. I’ll say I added the lights because this part of the property is darker, and I wanted to brighten it up.” I shrug. “He’s a man. He doesn’t notice details until you point them out one by one.”

“True.” She laughs. “Where is the man of the hour anyway? Why’s he not here screwing your brains out between the rows of lavender?”

“That was three nights ago,” I say nonchalantly as her grin widens.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” I nod and she sighs. “Jealous with a capital J. So what exactly is going on with him?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’ve known you for a long damn time, Ash, and this is just different.”

“Different how?” I ask but already know her answer. Because I can’t put my finger on it and neither will she be able to.

“The amount of time you spend with him without feeling smothered. Your want for more than just the damn good sex you’re having. The fact that you’re taking a chance on this”—she points to the barn and the lights around us—“when you’ve been so willing to just settle. It’s nothing I can definitely pinpoint, but it’s there and I love it.”

My smile is soft as I shake my head. “I hate when women say it was a man that gave them confidence and all of that bullshit, so I’m not going to say it, but I don’t know, Nita. Something in me has changed with Ledger here. I don’t know if it’s self-assurance or if it’s that I don’t give a crap about anyone in town or what they say about me . . . I’m just more like the old me I was before I got called back here.”

She nods. “Hold on tight to it, okay?”

Let’s hope I can.

“It’s so weird to think he and I have lived two completely different lives over the past fifteen years, and we meet up again and . . .”

“And it’s magic.”

“I wouldn’t go that far. It’s just . . . us.” It’s as though we picked up things from where we left them. The friendship. The ease of communication. The laughter. Everything is still there but just . . . so much more than before. Perhaps that’s the sex, but I don’t think so. It’s as though there aren’t the same restrictions as there used to be. No more father and grandparents interfering. No more me caring what others thought. No more me worrying about everything other than just us.

“Well, I’m happy for you. I truly am. No one deserves someone to treat them like a queen more than you.”

“Does that mean you’ll be here to help me pick up the pieces when he leaves?” I ask off-the-cuff but mean every word of it.

“You know I will be.” She reaches out and squeezes my hand. “But something in me thinks instead of breaking you apart, he’ll have made you whole again.”

I stare at the lights swaying on their thick black cable and take a deep breath. Ledger’s always had such a profound effect on how I see myself. Desirable. Lovable. Leave-able . . . even if that hadn’t been true from his perspective in the end.

But therein lies the problem with Nita’s story.

I know how bad it hurts to lose Ledger.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Asher

Ledger: Are you free next Saturday night?

Me: No. I have an appointment to watch paint dry.