Page 6 of Last Resort

“Then what do you need?”

She pushes a few things around on her desk before looking back up to meet my eyes. “I know I’m wasting my time asking since you’ve previously told me you didn’t feel prepared to take on anything more than a role as an associate, but I’m going to ask anyway. Would you be interested in this project, Sutton?”

“Of course. Like I said, I can assist any way possible.”

“I know you can, but that’s not what I’m asking.” She smiles. “Would you like to run this project?”

I stare at her dumbfounded for a beat. “Run, run?”

“Yes. Run, run. Be the lead on it. The senior consultant in charge. The one making all the decisions with the clients.”

“In the Virgin Islands?”

“That is where the project is, yes.”

I clear my throat as my palms grow even more sweaty and my pulse races. “You are aware that I’ve never worked on a project this size let alone run one before, right?” Only projects with small budgets and low stakes. Projects that aren’t an entire resort with what seems like unlimited funds or that require ten times more experience than I have. “I mean, I have no doubt I can do it and do it to our client’s liking . . . but it’s a huge risk putting me as lead.”

“I’m aware.” She nods and gives me a reassuring smile. “But I also know you have to learn sometime and maybe that time is now. There is nothing better than hands-on experience to teach you. Everything I ever learned in this business was from being pushed out of my comfort zone.”

She’s forgetting the part where my lack of experience would embarrass RTC if I screwed up and possibly lose us this huge opportunity working with the client would offer.

“If this client is so important, why aren’t you asking one of the senior consultants to take it? I’d be happy to finish up one of their existing projects already in the works.”

“Because our client has asked for a dedicated designer who will focus solely on their project and their project alone.”

“In other words, they’re demanding.”

“When you’re successful like they are, you can be anything you want to be. Why change when people would kill for the chance to have you as a reference on their portfolio?”

I stare at my boss with a million questions running through my mind. Why me? What if I fail? What if, what if, what if . . . and yet I know she wouldn’t have asked me if she didn’t have confidence in me and my abilities.

“And the second part of my answer,” she says when my silence remains, “is that I believe in you, Sutton. Not only are you a quick study with good ideas, but I’ve been following your work. Gwen tells me all the time about your dedication and contributions to her projects, and I think it’s time you realize your full potential. Of course, the project would come with a raise, lodging at the resort while you’re there, and the potential for a promotion upon the project’s completion.” Our eyes meet and our gazes hold. “I’m not trying to pressure you into saying yes. The last thing I want is for you to take it on out of obligation and then be miserable because that will show in your work, but at the same time, if you keep refusing opportunities, there will be no more growth here at RTC.” She offers a soft and encouraging smile as adrenaline begins to hum beneath my skin. “So, what do you say?”

Do just one thing for you today.

I recall the last time Roz asked me to step up. The mountains of excuses I made why I couldn’t take it because, God forbid, I advanced quicker than Clint in his career. How he told me it was for the best that I didn’t take the project and embarrass myself, the firm or, more importantly, him. And then how I cried in the shower that night so he couldn’t hear, feeling like I’d let myself down, all while rationalizing it in some futile way.

I think it’s time you realize your full potential.

Oh my God. How could I have done that to myself? I’m damn good at my job.

My pulse thunders in my ears, courage mounting with each beat of my heart as I look at Roz and smile. “Yes. I’m very interested . . .”

Roz startles at my unexpected words. “Really?”

I inhale a shaky breath and nod. “Yes. I’d love the opportunity.” Baby steps. “It’s terrifying but I’m more than ready.”

“All good things in life should scare you a little. That’s how you know you’re really living.”

Eighteen Hours Ago

“Sutton? Honey?” Lizzy says as she stares at me on her doorstep, bags at my feet, and a lost look on my face.

“You were right.” My voice is barely a whisper as I stare at my best friend. I don’t say anything else and yet she knows why I’m standing here and exactly what I need. She ushers me inside her apartment, wraps her arms around me, and just holds tight.

“It’s going to be okay,” she murmurs over and over in a soothing voice as we stand there. I feel like I can actually breathe for the first time in way too long. “Tell me what happened.”

So I proceed to tell her about Roz’s offer. About my acceptance of the job in an attempt to stay true to my word to Lizzy to do one thing for myself. And then about Clint’s explosion when I got home and told him I’d taken the offer.