Page 58 of Hard to Love

I turn to look at him and shrug. “Not my business. Good night, Finn.”

“Good night, Jealousy.”

“Good night, Jerk,” I mutter to myself with a healthy slam of my bedroom door.

I don’t like him.

I don’t.

He can be sexy and good in bed and sweet when he needs to be all he wants, but that doesn’t mean I have to like him.

Not one bit.

So then why am I lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of ways I can make him chuckle like that with me?

FINN

SHE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE THE woman who stood in my kitchen last night jealous over—yes, she was right—a booty call standing at my door.

The irony was that while nosy (and desperate) Kristen stood on my stoop all but throwing herself at me, it was Stevie I was thinking of. The woman who unexpectedly walked out in her pajama shorts and tank top sans makeup, who looked a hundred times sexier than Kristen in her party dress and heels.

The same woman who now is sitting behind a laptop and a ring light with a crisp, white blouse, smiling as Kyle Katswa gives an introduction to their interview. Her smile might be big, but what the camera can’t see and I can, is how she’s twisting her fingers in her lap.

I walk away from the room and head to my office where I have the television on so I can watch it objectively like a normal viewer would.

“So let’s get right to it, Stevie,” Kyle says with a warm smile. “Welcome to the show. How are you doing today?”

“I’m fine, thank you. Thanks for having me.”

He sighs with a genuine compassion. “I’m not exactly sure where you want to start, so let’s begin with your father. He was a driving force in your life and your career, how are you doing since his passing?”

Jesus. Talk about hitting with the emotional question right off the bat. But at the same time, it’s a brilliant opener because it’s something she’s comfortable talking about. Something that will endear her to fans.

And as if on cue, Stevie draws in a slow, measured breath before responding. “It’s been hard. Some days I wake up and reach for the phone to call him, others I don’t want to get out of bed. And to be honest, to cope, I’ve leaned on a few vices more than I should have over the past two months, and I’m not proud of that. Sometimes, all I’ve wanted to do is forget even though in hindsight, I know it’s not the right way to deal with grief. If that even makes sense.”

Her words take me by surprise. The raw honesty in them is unexpected and yet, I know this is the woman Carson had so much faith in. This one right here laying her mistakes and possibly truths bare for all to see.

“I think most of us who have gone through the death of someone they’re close to can relate.”

“They can, but social media these days makes it easy for all your mistakes to be put on display for all to see. Especially when you’re someone in my position and so, for all the parents out there who were upset with my missteps because their daughters look up to me, I want to apologize.”

Kyle looks completely taken aback by her comments as am I. Where is the balls-to-the-wall, fuck-everybody Stevie who I first met? Was she given a media etiquette class that I wasn’t aware of in the days since she’s been here?

“Forgive me for being harsh when you’re being so blatantly honest, Stevie, but how do the viewers, the fans, myself, know that your remarks aren’t part of a publicity tour to repair your image? To try and regain back fans you’ve lost?”

“You don’t.” She shrugs. “All I can do is be honest and hope that you believe me.”

“Why now? What suddenly made you want to talk to the media when you’ve blown them off for weeks?”

The blessing and the curse of the press. They’re there when you don’t want them to be, but when you need them, they’ll come right back.

She’s handling this brilliantly and even I’m amazed at how sincere she sounds.

“As you know, recently there have been some allegations made to other media outlets that I’ve yet to comment on. Added to the loss of my father”—she clears her throat and looks down at her hands before looking back at the camera— “to say they devastated me is an understatement.”

“Understandably.” He nods. “And that’s why you agreed to this interview.”

Stevie nods. “For me, my first reaction was to want to run and hide—which I’m not very proud of—but that’s what I did. But the hiding not only allowed me, but also forced me to really think and put things in perspective . . . such as my recent behavior.”