Page 27 of Hard to Love

“Apparently you bring this side out of me,” I mutter.

“Good to know.” He goes back to his phone and I go back to feeling completely dismissed. Antsy. Pissed that I didn’t even get to say goodbye to Vivi and Jordan.

Angry at this man who sat beside me all afternoon while I made an appearance at a tennis program for underprivileged youth. To the one who often spoke for me during the dinner he’d scheduled with the marketing heads of Nike. To the man who is now occupying my hotel room.

I need some distance from him. A drink. Maybe even a bit of trouble to make me feel something.

“Oh my God. I forgot my purse.” I don’t intend to get in trouble when I utter the lie. It’s more my need for space to think and process and be alone.

In a casino full of people.

Even I don’t buy my own excuses and yet I still make them.

“I can go grab it,” Finn says with a resigned sigh and begins to push himself off the couch.

“No. It’s okay. I’ll go.” I take a step toward the door. “I don’t feel good anyway and it’s better if I walk it off.”

“We can send one of your bodyguards to get it.” He rises from his seat, pointing to the room next door where they are stationed.

“No. They don’t know what it looks like.” I grab a baseball hat I left sitting on the counter and pull it down over my forehead to help disguise myself. “I’ll be right back.”

I’m out the door of the suite before he can answer and all but jogging down the hall on my heels, the need to escape pressing on me with every step.

“Stevie!” Finn’s voice calls to me down the hallway just as I step onto the elevator. “Your purse is right here.”

Caught in my lie, I jab at the button to close the elevator door as his feet clod down the hallway.

“Goddammit,” he groans when he tries to stick his hand in the just-closed door but it’s too late. My squeal is loud and my laugh that follows makes me feel more alive than I’ve felt all night.

“Bye, Finn,” I shout as the car starts to descend.

I get hung up on a few floors but my grin is wide the entire time as I picture Finn standing there in his shirt unbuttoned at the collar and my sparkly purse in his hand.

Might as well go have some fun before I head back and have to answer to him, because let’s face it, I might have just screwed myself royally when it comes to Finn.

Sure, I’m on a slight high right now because, while I may have succeeded in getting out of the hotel room, now Finn will never trust me again.

I’ll find a way to make him. To break him. To bend him to my will.

Of that, I’m confident.

The elevator opens to the clink and clank and buzz of the casino. Stale smoke hangs in the air and the intermittent calls for “Cocktails” ring out around the floor. I take in the scene in front of me and decide to move toward the bar and indulge in one, solitary drink. Of course, I’ll want more, but I’m going to be on my best behavior.

As it is, I’ll have to go back and share the suite with Finn so it might be best to not be sloppy drunk when I face him. Besides, getting on the court today felt good. All except for the sucking wind part. I know the copious amounts of alcohol and bad food I’ve eaten over the past few weeks majorly contributed to that.

I wander through the casino, keeping my head low and my face in the shadows of the baseball hat. I’m sure people are wondering about my fashion statement—the fancy dress, the high heels, and the baseball hat—but it’s Vegas after all. People are used to everything here.

I grab a drink. I play a few slot machines using the cash app on my phone to pay for it. The high of escaping Finn has waned and without Vivi or Jordan here, Vegas doesn’t exactly feel like as much fun as it had.

“Hey. Sorry. I know it’s late there,” I say when Vivi answers the phone as I people watch from a darkened corner in the hotel bar.

“You know me. I’m always up.” She pauses. “Everything okay?”

“I’m sorry about Finn. About him pushing you out. About not getting to say goodbye.” I shrug even though she can’t see it. “I feel bad.”

“Don’t. We had fun. Hell, we had the time of a lifetime . . . but now it’s time for you to get back to what you do best. I just hope us being there helped some.”

“It did. More than you’ll ever know.”