Page 57 of Hard to Lose

“I’m just warning you,” I say from behind my canvas, “this is absolutely horrible.”

“And I think you’re too hard on yourself, but I’m guessing that’s a normal thing for you.”

“Whatever.”

“I’m serious. For some reason, I can’t picture you as a graduate student. Instead, I feel like you’re someone who should be negotiating huge deals while wearing a sexy power suit in a high-rise somewhere in Manhattan.”

I’m glad he can’t see my face, because how in the world can he have me so well pegged? How can he sense the real me hidden beneath?

“Maybe someday,” I murmur.

And before I can get out of my funk over the lie I’m telling him, Mimi comes back with another one of her questions. “Next up, tell your date what you wanted to be when you grew up.”

“A veterinarian,” I say.

“Didn’t all little girls?” he asks. “Me? I wanted to be a professional baseball player.”

“You did?” I ask.

“Didn’t all little boys?” he counters.

“True. Speaking of which, I’ve been meaning to ask you if you know—”

“Oh my God. Are you serious?” echoes loudly around the barn, pulling everyone’s attention to the shrill, “Yes. Of course,” that follows.

When I stand to look, the couple on the opposite side of the barn from us has seemingly—by the looks of her jumping into his arms and the ring box clutched in his hand—just become engaged. The room erupts into applause and I can just make out the canvas he’d held out where he painted “Will you marry me?”

There are a few tears and kisses and then more kisses shared between the couple, followed by a picture being taken, before we all settle back at our tables.

“All the poor guys in here are probably sweating bullets that their date is hoping for the same thing now,” I say, and Gunner laughs.

“That’s so true. Look at the guy in the blue shirt over there.” He lifts his chin to direct my eyes. “He keeps yanking on his collar and guzzling his wine.”

I snort out a laugh when blue-shirt guy does just that. You can tell the guy is completely uncomfortable.

“Well, that was more than exciting, wasn’t it? It was our first Brushes ‘N’ Booze engagement, and we couldn’t be more thrilled. Now onto the rest of you getting to know each other so maybe you can be as lucky. Let’s get to our next question. Tell the person you’re lucky enough to be here with tonight the one thing that is a deal-breaker for you. It can be a trait, a situation, a something, but it’s the one thing that is irredeemable for you in a relationship.”

“You first,” Gunner says, leaning back and taking a sip of wine.

I twist my lips and stare at him for a beat. “Being disrespected,” I say, earning a nod and lift of his eyebrows in response. “And you?”

“Deception,” he says without hesitation. “There’s nothing worse than being lied to and finding out that you were.”

My tongue suddenly feels thick in my mouth as I try to swallow around it and not look guilty.

Because I am guilty.

I am lying to him.

I am deceiving him.

And at this point I’m too wrapped up in this lie to come clean. Hell, I came up with it on the fly, while in a bar and while flirting with one very hot bartender.

It wasn’t said as a means to deceive. My own thought contradicts itself when it comes to the definition of the word lie.

Have I had ample time to correct said lie? Yes.

But does Gunner’s answer apply to me? Sure, but I didn’t anticipate this—dates and laughter and looking forward to the time I’m with him while being bummed when I’m not. But is his deal-breaker only related to relationships and not friends who enjoy benefits too? Which is what we are, aren’t we? Temporary. Even though it—everything—is so good with him.