Page 12 of Hard to Lose

Her words stop me mid-motion. And the therapy session has commenced. I pretend I don’t know what she’s talking about. “What do you mean?”

“You’re twenty-six, Chase. You running off to find Lost Letter Boy isn’t going to make the anniversary of her passing any easier.” Brexton’s words are soft, compassionate, and I hate hearing the empathy edging them.

Of course, she’s talking about the death of our mom, but in true Chase Kincade fashion, I deflect from the topic and pretend everything is perfectly okay.

“Seriously? Did it ever cross your mind that I needed a break from you guys and your prying eyes? That maybe I needed to get laid without my three sisters sticking their noses in my business?”

“No, but it crossed my mind that you make sure you’re nowhere to be found around this time every year. You have a habit of making sure you’re on a recruiting trip or a vacation or somewhere other than here so we don’t know if you’re okay.”

“Your point is?”

“My point is that it’s okay to need someone. To need us.”

“Noted,” I say in a clipped tone, wanting to click the padlock on Pandora’s box before she tries to pry it open.

“You’re our little sister. It’s okay to be worried about you.”

“I’m a big girl,” I add. A big girl who shoves her feelings away so she doesn’t have to live in the painful reminder that her mother missed out on so much of her life.

“Just promise me you won’t be alone on the anniversary.”

“Yep. Will do.” I huff out a sigh.

“Chase . . .”

“That’s my name,” I taunt, like the little sister I am and have no shame in doing so. “Besides, maybe I needed a change of venue for a bit. After all, you guys did challenge me with dating someone new.”

“So you fled one of the most populated cities in the country?” She sighs. “Classic Chase deflection.”

Nothing will ever bring Mom back.

Nothing will ever fill the hole her death created.

Nothing.

“Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to check in to this hotel, pray there are no bed bugs, and then find a nice, friendly bar to butter up the bartender for info.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” she murmurs.

“You didn’t.” My smile is tight even though she can’t see it. “You know me, I have my sights set on something—”

“And therefore, nothing else matters.”

“Exactly.”

But when I hang up, I sit back in the driver’s seat and close my eyes.

Is this why I’m so hung up on finding Ryan Camden, who by all accounts could be a complete jerk and undeserving of my time?

Am I desperate to fix his misfortune because I know I can’t fix mine?

CHAPTER FOUR

Gunner

She owns my attention the minute she walks into the bar. A new face in this bar gets noticed pretty damn quick to say the least. The town is small. The bar patrons are regulars.

She’s not one of them.