Page 110 of Hard to Lose

And standing in the middle of the lobby with business people walking all around us, oblivious to how life-changing this moment is for us, I’ve never felt more complete.

More loved.

More at home.

EPILOGUE

Chase

Eighteen Months Later

The night air tickles my hair against my cheeks, as I lean against the railing with what I’m sure is a ridiculously goofy grin on my lips.

Sure, I’ve had a few or maybe a lot of glasses of wine tonight to aid in the goofiness of that grin, but it’s not just the alcohol that’s bolstered it.

It’s this.

All of this.

The twinkly lights overhead as Brexton and her new husband, Drew, dance the night away. I’m surprised her wedding dress even touches the ground with how high her head is in the clouds tonight. Then there’s Drew and the look in his eyes—complete and utter adoration—every time he looks at her.

Laughter to the left of the dance floor draws my eyes to where my eldest sister, Dekker, is swaying to the beat of the music. Her husband, Hunter, stands behind her, his arms around her, and his chin on her shoulder as they watch my one-year-old nephew attempt to dance with his aunt Lennox.

But instead of dancing, he keeps getting distracted by Lennox’s pregnant belly, his hands reaching up to touch it and hopefully feel my soon-to-be niece kick. Because in pure Lennox fashion, she’s wearing a devastatingly snug and sexy dress, despite her eight-months-pregnant swollen belly.

And then there is her husband, Rush, sitting at the table beside where Lennox is dancing. He has a ghost of a smile on his handsome face, his eyes rarely move from her. It’s quite a sight to see the bad boy head over heels with the woman who never took love seriously.

And if that’s not the pot calling the kettle black, I don’t know what is as my eyes skim to the seat across from Rush, to see Gunner sitting there, enjoying taking it all in.

My Gunner.

The man I never expected, the man I never wanted, but the one who looks at me every damn time with that same reverence, that same love.

How has it been over a year since I found him? It feels like yesterday and forever all at the same time. How did I not know how incomplete I felt until him?

Sure, we’ve struggled at times as we settled into our new normal with my traveling to and from New York every other week to take care of my work, but I know there is nothing—nothing—that would ever change the irrevocable love I have for him.

“How’s my girl?” my dad asks, sliding an arm around my shoulder.

“Your girl is just having a sappy moment to herself,” I say and rest my head on his shoulder.

“I didn’t think my Chase had sappy moments in her.” He presses a kiss to my head, the teasing tone of his voice making me smile.

“I found them somewhere. There are times I wish I hadn’t.”

“Ah, but those sappy moments are what makes life, kiddo. They make it beautiful and tragic and meaningful and unforgettable. All those moments stacked on top of each other are what make you feel and love and live.”

He pauses, as I take in his words and know they’re right, because how could they not be? When I look at Gunner, I know I want to keep stacking those moments, one upon another, until we have a life carved out for ourselves.

“She would have loved this, you know?” he continues, his voice soft, reminiscent, and so full of love. “She would have loved watching her girls grow and love and become mothers themselves. I’m so sorry she didn’t get a chance to see it, but I have a feeling she’s had a strong hand in guiding it.”

I sniff away the tears that are blurring my eyes. “Now look who’s being sappy,” I tease, knowing how very right he is.

She would have loved every minute of this. The tiny details in planning Brex’s wedding. The traveling to the UK to visit Lennox and have one-on-one time with her. The spoiling of her first grandson and passing on motherly advice to Dekker. The knowing when she looked in my eyes how truly happy Gunner makes me.

“Yeah, she would have loved it, Dad. Every crazy minute of it. But you’re right, she helped plan all this in some way, whether through what she instilled in us in the short time we had with her or in some other magical way . . . because I feel her more now than I ever have.”

And I do.