Page 59 of Hard to Hold

“Rush.” His name is a sigh of resignation.

“Tell me why, Lennox. Explain to me why a chemistry as strong as ours—the kind that snaps against each other’s every time we’re in close proximity—should be ignored?”

“We don’t have the time to flesh this out—”

He steps in front of the door. “Yes, we do.”

I stare at him, hands on my hips, and know he’s not going to back down until I explain what he truly needs to know. “This whole thing—you promoting the league for a short time while the Premier League is off-season and as a means to get you away to let everything die down there—is all a ruse. He’s trying to wine, dine, and impress you to stay here.”

“Any intelligent person could assume that,” he says. “It’s smart on his part.” He pauses as if he’s going to say something else but then pauses. “That’s not what you’re hiding from me, though.”

“Cannon lured me here under the guise that I would consult with him on how the league could offer better packages to their players. He wanted more structured benefits and compensation to keep them happy, to ensure they’d want to play here versus be lured overseas.”

“Fat chance.” He snorts.

“Exactly, but once I signed the contract, he informed me that my incentive-driven purpose in this role is to recruit you to stay here.”

“Okay.” He draws the word out, his expression pensive. “So we can’t sleep together because why?”

“Because Cannon has it in his head that I need to be your agent. That I need to steal you away from Finn and represent you myself. He feels that if you’re with me, he’ll get what he wants: his shiny star to hang the league’s success on.” I emit a frustrated sigh. “He thinks I’ll be his puppet, for lack of a better term.”

“He definitely doesn’t know you then.” Rush chuckles. “Because the woman I know would never let anyone own her or her decisions.”

I’d love to pause and let that compliment sink in, because what Rush said gives me joy. He believes in me, but I can’t let that affect the fact that sleeping with him still causes an issue.

“Thank you. But can you see how this is a problem all around?” I ask while Rush stares. “It’s a bad move if you ask me.”

“What is?” he asks. There’s an intensity to him right now that unnerves me. I’m not sure if he’s going to be angry with me or . . . I don’t know, but I begin to stumble over my thoughts.

“Cannon hiring me for the league. The you being here part. The me being here to steal you makes matters ten times more complicated when I’ve already slept with you.”

“You mean, am sleeping with you.”

“It was one time, Rush. We got each other out of our systems,” I lie.

His chuckle tells me he knows it is. “Funny. I sure as hell haven’t gotten you out of mine and truth be told”—he crosses the short distance between us, and runs the back of his hand down the side of my cheek—“the way you just kissed me tells me there’s a whole lot more you want to get out of our systems.”

“Finn’s out there,” I deflect. “The last thing I need is him seeing us leaving this room together. He’s a smart agent. I’d be concerned if my client was working side by side with another agent, too.”

“I hope I make myself clear when I say that no one determines or deters who I sleep with other than me.”

His words are a stark reminder of the mess he left behind back home.

“Rush, it’s words like those that give the press the fodder they need to annihilate you. That’s how you ended up in the States.” He squints at me in anger briefly, but then it’s gone, because he can see that I don’t believe it’s true. “If I thought you had a girlfriend back home, I wouldn’t have slept with you in the first place,” I whisper.

At that, I see a small—relieved?—smile form on his gorgeous lips. One that doesn’t help me not want to kiss him any less. He leans forward and kisses my forehead, lingering. And I know he’s heard my faith in him.

So, I continue. “Rush, this is where I live. This is my job. My professionalism on the line. My reputation. And—”

“So then we don’t let them know. We’ve been hired to do a job and we’re doing it. That’s the bottom line. Anything beyond that is out of their realm.”

“It’s not that easy. Do you know what it would look like to other athletes if word got out? That I sleep with potential clients in the hope that it would win them over to sign with me? I mean, there’s so much more to the equation.” I think of Finn’s accusation minutes ago and know the only way Rush will understand is if I tell him, but I also want to take the high road. The last thing I need to do is to poison him against his agent because I have personal issues with the prick. “You might get away with doing whatever you want, whenever you want even if it’s trouble, but you still get paid. You still have a public pushing for you because of your incredible talent. Me, on the other hand? I look like a tart who fucks her way to the top.”

I wish I knew what was going on behind those eyes of his.

“You’re my tart,” he says with a half laugh before his expression softens and grows intense as the other part of what I said hits him. “You said I had incredible talent.”

It strikes me in the moment that this grown man, gruff in so many ways, just stopped in his tracks for simple praise. Almost as if everything else is white noise.