Page 107 of Hard to Hold

It’s fleeting, but it’s there.

“It’s been a lot harder to keep my promise, but he’s my oldest friend. His life is more important than my reputation. As to Archibald . . . fuck, Archibald’s career and a successful election isn’t something I care about or something that I should bear on my shoulders, but Rory? Rory is. And Helen. How could I let her down? After taking me in, how could I not protect Rory when he was the only one who befriended me? Even after they told me I was a part of them, I didn’t trust it to be real for the longest time. But Rory never stopped trying. He could have. There were a lot of boys there that were wealthy too. Yet, he knew where I came from and never treated me differently. Archibald wasn’t kind to Rory, either, and I often feared Rory would despise me because of his father’s constant comparison between us.” He takes a deep breath and pauses. “He could have hated me. Yet he doesn’t.”

My God, this man is amazing. And by the sounds of it, Rory deserves his loyalty.

But I’m not convinced he deserves Rush’s enormous sacrifice. So, how do I explain that he doesn’t need to repay someone for simply being a decent human being? However, I told Rush I’d listen. It’s not my place to judge.

“I understand, but I don’t think you’re taking enough credit for what’s on the line for you right now.”

“His life is important. How could I let down the only family I have?” We both look to our left as a couple walk past and wave in greeting. After they pass, Rush speaks. “Esme’s in town.” He makes the comment like it’s an afterthought. He stares at me, waiting to see my reaction. To see if I believe him. “She’s in town for a benefit concert.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Full transparency.” He pulls his baseball hat down lower over his eyes as a group of guys come clambering up the hill behind us, one wearing a Manchester United shirt. “If she’s here, and I’m here, there’s bound to be some rumors. Maybe then you’ll see how easy it is for the press to manipulate situations and people to believe whatever they publish.”

“I already know about that,” I say, trying to digest everything he’s said, the fallout he’s willing to endure because of it, and the incredulity of the man right before me. “You didn’t have to tell me any of this.”

“I know.”

“Then why did you?” I all but whisper.

“Because there’s something here, Nox. Something between us that, for the first time in my adult life, makes me not feel alone. I needed you to know that I trust you.”

Placing my hand on the back of his neck, my forehead to his, I press my lips to his. I am in awe of this man. To know he feels there’s something between us? Brings me hope, as I am not ready to say goodbye. But I can give him what he needs. My faith in him. “You can trust me, Rush. I promise.”

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

LENNOX

I STARE AT THE CEILING with Rush’s soft snores beside me. His leg draped over mine, I struggle with a serious moral dilemma. Between Lennox the agent and Lennox the woman in love. Between what I know would be best for his career versus what I know would be best for us.

Tell me that I can trust you, Lennox.

My heart swells with a warmth I’ve never experienced.

Sure there’s love for your family, but this . . . this feeling in my chest when it comes to Rush is something altogether different.

My mind reels.

Are there more pictures of the kiss around the world between Esme and Rory? I’ve stared at image after image of Rory tonight on my Google search and can see exactly how this happened. Hell, my bet is that the photographer knew the man wasn’t Rush, but sold the picture that hides the tattoo on Rory’s hand.

A pop princess and a Liverpool football star? That’s serious money paid out to a paparazzo for a single photo.

I have to turn my agent brain off.

He’s not my client.

He’s my lover.

He’s my love.

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

RUSH

“I NEED YOU TO TELL me all of this bullshit is over.”

“Hello, Finn. Nice to talk to you.” I roll my shoulders at the sound of his voice. I’ve never felt much affinity for Finn Sanderson, but I have zero respect since Dekker’s revelation. The prick.