Page 89 of Hard to Handle

He chuckles and scrubs a hand over his jaw. “I expected more from you than that. I really did.” The disappointment in his voice is like a knife to my heart. Here he is handing me the key to the door I need. But I know the minute I unlock and open it, everything I want will fall out of reach.

“I can’t give you more.” It’s the only thing I can think to say as my professional world wars against my personal one.

“Why?” This time, he’s the one who takes a step closer to me. This time, he’s the one staring and demanding and wanting to know.

“Because I can’t,” I whisper.

“That’s what I thought,” he says and starts to stride off.

“Hunter. Wait.” He keeps walking. “Truth. Truth,” I shout, and this time he stops but doesn’t turn around. I stare at him, the bright lights of the arena he’s playing in tonight in the background. “I can’t admit to you why I’m here because the minute I do, whatever happened the other night can’t happen again. I can’t tell you what you want to hear, because there’s a blaring red line in the sand and once I cross it, all those things about you that made me want to come back to your room over and over once I left that night have to be buried and gone.” My breath hitches on what feels like a sob, but it’s really my fear in admitting the truth to both him and myself.

It’s the fear in admitting that I had fallen for Hunter Maddox before, and being here, sleeping with him, just reinforced that I never got over him. That I chose mediocre options in the interim who never dimmed his sparkle, but rather made it shine brighter.

He turns slowly and stares at me, eyes burning into mine in a way I’ve never seen or felt before. The muscle in his jaw feathers as if he’s trying to control any and all emotion from playing across his stoic face.

The hope I had that he might hear me drains away slowly.

I throw my hands up in a shrug and surrender whatever else I can’t express. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t. My dad sent me here to win you over to the agency because you’re you, and any agent would be crazy to not want you on their team. Now that I’m here, I don’t know that I can follow through with it. I know you’re struggling with something, and I would do anything to help you through it. But if I offer you that, you’ll always be wondering if it’s because I’m personally invested or because I want to profit off you professionally. The answer is I care, when it seems you don’t want anyone to. So you tell me, Hunter, what am I supposed to do?”

The first tear slips over and I shove it away with the back of my hand as I stand before him, intentions exposed, emotions on the line, waiting for him to respond.

“I’ve got to get to practice.”

He turns his back on me and walks toward the entrance.

And I watch him.

Every single step.

But this time through the blurred tears.

I now have my answer.

He walked away.

Decision’s been made.

He left me.

I’m done.

It’s time to go home.

CHAPTER FORTY

DEKKER

I STARE AT THE MEMO and wish I could add more, but I can’t.

I’ve failed. My dad had faith in me, and I blew it.

I look at it one more time, and then I hit send.

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

HUNTER

Dad: Worst game I’ve seen you play all year. Why isn’t your head in the game, son? Think of everything we gave up for you to be there and prove you deserve it.