Page 51 of Resist

But right now I wish I were down there with the boring people instead of up here.

Right now I wish I could go back to sleep and not be scared.

The floor creaks, and I stiffen when the hand slides over my mouth. My body jerks in awareness, in fear, but when I breathe in, I smell the icky smell of the absinthe he drinks mixed with his fancy eau de gross cologne and the cloves of his cigarettes.

It’s just Uncle James.

Not a monster.

Just him not wanting me to yelp and wake Sam up.

Just him knowing the train scares me when it sounds off in the middle of the night.

Just him telling me that even with a house full of people, he remembered and came up here to make everything all right.

Toot. Toooot.

But there is no “Hey, Vaughny, want to come dance to the music with me?” No “I have friends over tonight, but I’d rather come snuggle with you.” No “You know you’re my favorite girl?”

Toot. Toooot.

I open my eyes. It’s his face I see. His dark eyes warning me to stay quiet. His hand pressing harder against my mouth. His breath in my ears—harsh and rapid. Excited. The weight of his body as he lies partially on me. The scrape of his fingers as he begins to run them up my leg, my nightgown going with it.

The confusion.

Absinthe on his breath.

The churning in my tummy.

Cologne on his skin.

His murmured voice in my ear. “You’re beautiful, Vaughny.”

Cloves on his fingers.

Toot. Toooot.

I jolt awake.

Heart racing.

My room.

Pulse thundering in my ears.

My house.

My empty bed. The same annoying light from the neighbor’s backyard trying to blaze through my blinds. And I’m so grateful for that light.

For the visibility to reassure my racing heart that it was all a dream.

Even when my head knows it was much more than a dream.

With one hand clutched over my stomach and the other over my mouth, I fight the bile that threatens. Combat the sudden pressure that’s weighing on my chest. Struggle with a memory I just dreamed clear as day but can’t remember what happened next.

I’m awake, but it’s his eyes I see now. His scent I smell still. The revulsion I still feel just like the other night with Ryker.

My breath is shaky when I draw it in, the sound reverberating around the room and coming back to assault my ears.