Page 38 of Bobby

“He worries that my focus might have shifted.”

“Has it?”

“No.”

He nods, accepting my answer and not forcing the issue.

“And what about that other problem?”

I narrow my eyes. Not because he’s asking, but because of the topic. Something that pisses me off.

“Danny has found nothing.”

“Doesn’t seem like him.”

I agree. Danny tracks down things like a polar bear tracking prey. Nothing escapes him. Except for whoever started the fire. Something we wouldn’t even be looking into if Tommy didn’t own the building. Nothing in our business happens by coincidence. We learned that long ago. If a fire happened in a building after Tommy bought it and not before, it can’t be an insurance claim like the arson investigator is assuming. Not that they can find the origin either.

“Do you think it has something to do with Danny’s concern?”

I sip my whiskey instead of answering. I don’t have an answer, and that might piss me off more than Danny being concerned enough to voice to Vinny that I might be compromised.

That’s how Danny would have worded it. Anything that steals your attention from the job, to Danny, makes you a liability. He fears connection.

While my only fear is letting the one connection I have slip away.

Chapter 15—Willow

Ignoring Bobby is actually pretty easy. We might live in the same building, but we’re on different floors. I still can’t believe I agreed to it. Did I agree to it? It gets a little fuzzy when I think back to that conversation last Sunday. Somehow, when I think about it, all I remember is what he looked like. What he said… what we spoke about? Yeah, that’s not the part I remember.

We also have separate work hours. And with the girls and me now living on the other side of the river, taking them to school is so much easier. As well as less time spent in the car and more time together. Something I appreciate immensely, as I still have moments of heartbreak at least once a day when I think about what was lost in the fire. The things we have now are great, but it’s hard not to miss the memories tied to those items.

Another aspect that keeps me from Bobby is our communication. While key to the project, it’s only done through email. The only meetings we have in person are on Fridays. Which is today. And it’s set for lunchtime. The last meeting—well, our first and only so far—had us going out to lunch, which I assume is his plan going forward.

But… I’m confused. Not about lunch, but about him. Bobby.

I miss him.

Which is stupid. I’m a grown woman. A mom, even. I take care of two amazing little girls and teach them how to handle their emotions daily. And yet I can’t figure out my own. Bobby is… well, he’s hot. Incredibly handsome, something I’m sure he knows. But he’s also smart and funny, and frustrating. He takes charge without a second thought and fights me on everything, but only on things that would make my life easier. Why do I fight back? No clue, other than it’s not in me to give up.

That’s not true. I fight back because I didn’t with my ex. I let him take over, and soon I was nothing more than just an extension of him. There was no me. Not until I had Ivy and realized I wasn’t someone I wanted her to see and become. I wanted her to be strong and independent. Then Lily came, and I saw all that Trevor took from me. All that I let him take. I was compliant to the point of being submissive. But not the kind of submissive that’s taken care of and respected—I was treated like an expectation and nothing more. A slave in my own home, living a life of being seen, not heard, and keeping up appearances of every aspect of our lives to say something that wasn’t true. That we were happy. That I was happy.

It was all a lie.

Trevor might have stepped out on me, but I was already trying to figure out how to get away. His affair led me to getting the girls almost exclusively without the guilt of breaking up the family. He did that. In a way, what happened was a blessing.

A blessing I will never repeat. I will never again become a shell of who I am.

That’s probably why I push so hard with Bobby. I don’t want to be drawn in by fancy, sparkly things. I like to think I’ve grown from who I was last time.

The brown-bag lunch I picked up as I made my way to his office is proof of that. But I’m also not ungrateful for what he’s given me, which is why I made enough for two. It’s not fancy, but I’m not going to be rude. If he has lunch available, I’ll politely decline and eat what I brought, proving to both of us that I’m capable of taking care of myself. And on the off chance I read this whole lunch-meeting thing wrong, well, at least I can share with him so I don’t look rude eating alone.

I wait at the elevator, but the moment the doors open for me to go inside, I pause mid-entrance.

“Hey, Marco.” I’ve also been avoiding him. Not that he confuses me. He’s just a part of Bobby, and I expect one to be with the other.

“Willow, just the person I was coming to see,” he says with a nod, moving back to allow me to enter.

“Really? Why? Did the meeting get canceled?” I make to take a step back, but he pulls out his badge, swipes it, and pushes the button for the ground floor just as the door closes.