"Don't act like the victor."
"I'm not."
"You are. Your face just doesn't show it."
Varlam didn't argue. Makar exhaled.
"I'm out."
Those words couldn't be without regret. But more than that was a kind of exhaustion from finally seeing the outcome clearly.
"She was never someone either of us won," Makar said. "She chose you."
"I know."
"Don't hurt her again."
Varlam's answer didn't come immediately. My heart suspended for a moment.
"I won't," he said.
Makar laughed coldly. "You better remember that. If she cries because of you again, I won't care that you're my brother."
"She won't cry because of me again."
"You're too confident."
"Not confidence," Varlam's voice was low and firm. "A promise."
I lowered my head. My eyes still grew hot.
Rory looked up at me. "Are you crying?"
"Wind's too strong."
"There's no wind here."
"Rory."
"Okay." He sighed deliberately. "Adults always have so many secrets."
I pinched his face. "Especially secrets nosy kids can't know."
The rafting was calmer than I'd expected. We put on life jackets and climbed into the same inflatable raft. Varlam insisted on sitting behind me, reasoning that if the boat rocked, he could steady me first. Makar sat in front, responsible for paddling with Rory. Only Makar actually paddled.
Rory's paddle spent most of the time slapping water, splashing everyone.
"Aim for the current." Makar wiped water off his face.
"I'm aiming perfectly."
"You just hit me."
"That might be the current's problem." Rory tilted his face up.
I laughed until my stomach hurt.
Varlam's arm wrapped around me from behind, steadying my body. "Don't laugh too hard."