Page 93 of Sexting the Single Pakhan

Chapter Twenty-Six

Laurel

Two weeks after Leonid and I had temporarily stepped away, I stare at the pregnancy test in my hand, the two stark pink lines glaring back at me.

Pregnant. I’m pregnant.

The word doesn’t even feel real. My stomach lurches, not from nausea this time, but from sheer disbelief. I’ve been on the pill for months. I started right after Paris, right after the first time Leonid and I—

Tasha’s voice pulls me out of the spiral. “Laurel? Babe, say something. What are you going to do?”

I open my mouth. Nothing comes out at first. My tongue feels thick, useless. “I… I don’t know.” The words finally scrape past my throat. “How can I be pregnant?”

Tasha smirks. “Well, from the number of times you said you and Leonid have been at it, it’s not hard to deduce how…”

“No,” I quickly cut in. “I mean, I’ve been on the pill. I got on it right after… you know.”

Tasha leans against the bathroom counter, arms crossed, eyes gentle but worried. “Have you been consistent with it? Every single day, same time, no skips?”

I swallow hard. “Yeah. I mean… mostly. I might’ve missed a few days. Sometimes I forgot. Work was crazy, and—” My voice cracks.

She nods slowly. “That’s your answer, then.”

“I thought I was careful.”

I sink onto the closed toilet seat, burying my face in my palms. The cold porcelain presses against my thighs through my leggings. I’ve been throwing up everything I eat for days. My period was late, and Tasha practically dragged me to the pharmacy this morning after I kept making excuses. Now the little stick in my hand is screaming the truth I didn’t want to face.

Tasha crouches in front of me, voice soft. “Do you want to keep it?”

I drop my hands, staring at the tile floor between us. The test is still clutched in my fingers like evidence.

“Sure... but I don’t know what I’m going to do,” I whisper.

“Uh, okay… how about we go find you something you can keep down in the meantime?”

We walk out of the bathroom, and I collapse onto her couch in the living room while Tasha makes me some herbal tea. A moment later, she walks in and hands me a steaming mug.

“Thanks,” I murmur, not bothering to take a sip. Food is the least of my worries right now.

Tasha sits close, knee touching mine. “Are you going to tell Leonid?”

I sigh, long and shaky. My hand slowly drifts to my stomach, almost without thinking. It’s still flat. But something is there now. Someone.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “I’ve always wanted to be a mother. Have my own kids. And… I love him, Tasha. God, I love him so much I’d give anything to have his baby. But bringing a child into his world? Is that even safe? He’s—” I lower my voice, even though we’re alone. “He’s in the mafia. People die around him. People he orders to die. And not to mention, I watched him kill someone.”

“He has a son already, doesn’t he?” Tasha points out gently. “Alexei?”

I nod. “Yeah. But that doesn’t make it okay. It just means another kid is already in danger because of who their father is.”

She reaches over, squeezes my hand. “Do you believe Leonid would ever hurt you? Or let anyone hurt you? Or your baby?”

I don’t even have to think. “No. He’s… protective. Possessive. But he’s never once made me feel unsafe. Not with him.”

Tasha nods. “Then maybe that’s your answer. Yeah, I’d be terrified too if I found out my boyfriend was in the freaking mafia. But from everything you’ve told me? The way he takes care of you? The way he looks at you? That man would burn the world down before he let anything touch you. I’ve seen it the few times I’ve met him. Women would kill to have a partner look at them the way he looks at you. Like you’re the center of his universe.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “I know. But… what kind of life is that for a child? Looking over their shoulder? Knowing their dad has blood on his hands?”

Tasha shrugs, not unkindly. “I don’t have the answers, babe. But I do know you. And I know you’re going to be an amazing mom, whether you decide to keep it or not. You don’t have to figure it all out right now. But I think you should tell him whatever it is that you decide.”