Page 114 of This is a Kissing Book

“Oh, hi. Um, I hope it’s okay. But I invited Oly over and a couple of friends from work—Wendy and Carmen. She’s a grandma, so don’t worry, we’re not going to have a rager. Mostly cooking and watching movies.”

She can do whatever she wants. Invite King Kong and Godzilla for dinner. Relief sweeps through me at hearing her voice. But I need to be there, with her. Now. I tell her as much.

“Where are you going?” Goudreau asks.

“Emergency,” I say, already packing up my gear.

“Linc.” His voice stops me at the door. “Whatever is going on with this girl, don’t lose yourself in it.”

I think it might be too late for that.

By the time I get back to Chicago, I’ve made a decision. Jules needs to disappear for a while, at least until I can figure out who’s targeting her and why.

“Pack a bag,” I tell her when I walk through the door. “We’re going to my family’s cabin.”

“Linc, you just got back—” She opens her arms for a hug and I wrap myself around her.

“If you think someone was following you, that’s not paranoia, that’s a threat.” After I picked her up in the rain storm, when she said If I go missing, people will look for me, she meant those thugs.

Moving to her room, I start pulling clothes from the closet. “Fox Lake, north of the city. It’s quiet, peaceful, serene.”

“Like witness protection?” She stops me, eyes pleading for an explanation.

“It was my mother’s favorite place. I think you’ll like it,” I say, tucking her hair behind her shoulder.

Jules studies my face, and I wonder what she sees there. Desperation? Fear? The barely controlled panic that’s been eating at me since I got her text?

“For how long?” she asks finally.

“As long as it takes to keep you safe.”

She nods slowly. “Okay. But Linc? If there is something you’re not telling me⁠—”

This woman, who’s lost everything, is trusting me to protect her even though she senses I’m hiding something from her—the one thing I’m proudest of in my life. But I’m afraid once she knows, she’ll look at me with the same cool wariness she gave Iva and Aiken—and rightly so.

But I’m not like that. Though I’m afraid because I’ve kept my hockey-playing status secret for so long now, she’ll only see me as one of them.

August is almost over. Summer is ending. Preseason starts soon and I’ll have to choose between the life I’ve always known and whatever this is becoming.

I flip my lucky penny, but every time I ask whether I should tell her, it lands on tails. Not yet.

As we prepare to leave for the lake, my mother’s sanctuary, I wonder if eventually will be too late.

40

JULES

Mom’s voice chirps through my phone. “Juliana! Perfect timing. I was just telling Brad about your new position with a promotion⁠—”

“It’s not exactly a promotion, Mom.” Though I did get a raise. I’ve been on autopilot for a while, and when I recently checked my biweekly direct deposit from Meridian, the amount was substantially more than expected. However, the payment to dad’s debtors was made, so I don’t understand why they had to go and burn my house down.

Oh, right. People like that don’t care about people like me.

While Linc packs for the trip to the lake house, I sink deeper into his inordinately comfortable couch. It almost feels like a hug. Cradling my phone against my ear, I cannot bring myself to reveal to my mother that I was chased through underground tunnels in DC or that my apartment building burned down. Never mind that I’ve never told her about Dad’s gambling debts or the monthly payments I make to keep dangerous thugs at bay.

Or so I thought.

“You’re working directly with management now! That’s wonderful, sweetheart.” She’s outrageously positive about everything I do. During grade school, I’d bring home what amounted to a scribble with an “Excellent” sticker on it and she’d plaster it on the fridge, telling everyone within earshot that I’m a genius. In middle school, I did a presentation on the water cycle and she was convinced I would someday be president. I have my own personal cheerleading squad named Tina Harris, and while usually I appreciate it, right now I’m feeling defeated all the way down to my bones.