Page 122 of Finessed By A Hood White Boy

“I’m cool.”

Ethan kissed my forehead before dismissing himself. Our session started with stretches then balance exercises. In thirty minutes, we completed every exercise she had written down. Now it was time to walk. That was where my frustration came in. Grabbing a hold of the walker, my hands wrapped around the handles tightly. Melissa reached for me as I pulled myself up from the bench.

“I got you.” She assured me.

“I’m okay,” I straightened my body.

Slowly, I moved forward, taking my time. By my third step, my legs started shaking.

“I can’t do this today.” I wanted to cry.

“Take a deep breath, Ava. You got this.”

I looked down at my legs and my breathing became uneasy.

“I said, I can’t fuckin do this today.” I snapped.

Tears immediately clouded my vision. I assumed the sound of my voice caught Ethan’s attention because he came rushing in. He was never too far.

“Aye, baby, what’s wrong?” He approached me.

“I fuckin hate this.” I cried.

“Amore, it’s okay.” He held my face in his hands.

“No! It’s not.” I pushed him away, almost losing my balance.

He caught my arm, then helped me sit on the bench. He turned to Melissa and asked if she could give us a moment alone. Once she was out of the room, Ethan turned his attention back to me.

“Ava…”

“I just want to be normal again. I want my life back.”

“I know, we’re working on it. I know you’re tired mama, but I need you to keep pushing. I tell you that every time you have these episodes.”

We sat in silence for several seconds as I tried to calm down.

“What if I never get back to normal?” I looked into his eyes.

“You will, so don’t say that.”

“It’s been months and I’m not walking on my own yet. I still don’t remember shit. This shit is torturing. How can you love someone who is disabled and doesn't even remember loving you back?”

I watched his eyes soften with a glimpse of sadness.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m just trying to understand. You say you love me but you’re a man, Ethan. You have needs that I’m not even capable of fulfilling right now.”

“Amore, that’s the last thing you need to be worried about.”

“I know kissing me is not enough for you.” I held my head down.

“Chill out, it’s more than enough.”

“I kinda find it funny that my body seems to remember things that my mind can’t.” I glanced at him.

“Oh word?” He smirked. “Amore, let me find out you’ve been cutting up because you want some dick.” He licked his lips.

“Maybe,” I shrugged, then placed my hand on his thigh.