Page 106 of Finessed By A Hood White Boy

“I love you, Amore.” I stared into her eyes. “And because I love you and want us to work out, I’ma let you have it. When you’re ready to move forward, you know where to find me.” I kissed her lips once more.

When it rains, it muthafuckin pours. Two weeks had gone by and I hadn’t spoken to or seen Ava at all. I thought it would be an easy task to keep my distance but it was a struggle. When Zoie asked about her and Savannah, it made shit worse for me. I had to explain to my daughter that we were just taking some time to focus on business. I knew she understood but she wasn’t trying to hear that. I had been keeping myself busy to keep my thoughts balanced. Some days were harder than others but I got through it. I thought my world stopped spinning after putting a pause on our relationship. Nah, life wasn’t done fucking with me yet.

It was 4:15 in the morning when my phone rang. My phone had been ringing so much lately, I had gotten used to it vibrating. I was knocked out, sleeping good, I almost ignored it. However, when I cracked my eyes open, something felt different. I reached over and glanced at the screen, it was Big Momma.

“Ma, what’s up?” I answered, rubbing my eyes.

“EJ…”

Her tone of voice caused me to sit up immediately.

“What’s wrong?” I questioned.

“You need to get over here. Now.”

Her voice was low, shaky and filled with sadness. I didn’t even bother to ask again what was wrong. I hopped out of bed, threw on a shirt and shoes before darting out the door. I pulled up to her house in fifteen minutes. I didn’t even turn my car off as I hopped out. The night nurse opened the door before I even made it to the porch. Her eyes were filled with sorrow.

“I’m so sorry.” She said as I walked past her.

“Sorry for what? Ma!” I called out.

Big Momma stepped out into the hallway. Immediately, I could tell she had been crying.

“She’s gone.” She wrapped her arms around me.

Everything in me went still. I couldn’t speak as I took in the silence that filled the house. The tears came before I could stop them. I hadn’t cried in years and the shit felt unusual. The pain in my heart felt heavier than I thought it would be. I knew the day would come that my momma would transition but I didn’t think it would come so soon. Fuck! If only I would’ve brought her back home sooner. That probably wouldn’t have changed anything but at least she would’ve had more time to spend with us outside of the facility.

I pulled away from Big Momma and continued on to my mother’s room. It felt like I had weights tied to my ankles. Everything was a blur, but the moment I stepped into her room my vision cleared. She lay in bed as if she was sleeping peacefully. I sat at the edge, and gently stroked her forehead with my thumb. She was still warm. The little boy in me broke down as I laid in bed and hugged her tight.

CHAPTER 30

Ava Gray

Over the last two weeks, I had spent most of my time rebranding my business. After catering for Julia’s friend, three more opportunities fell into place as word began to travel. It felt good picking back up from where I left off. With the help of my parents and my sister, Savannah was well taken care of while I focused on building. Also, I had finally received the keys to our new house. We haven’t moved in yet because I was still waiting on more furniture to be delivered. The few things that I did have in storage were already moved inside. Although life seemed to be elevating and I was finally in a place where I should’ve been happy and at peace, I wasn’t. To be honest, a part of me was stuck in this depressing state that I couldn’t seem to shake out of.

“Hey, I’m about to order some Panda Express. Do you want something?” Aja asked.

I looked up from my laptop and shook my head no.

“I’m going to order you something anyway. I haven’t seen you eat anything in damn near two days.” She huffed.

She was overreacting. I had been eating, just not as much. I wasn’t starving myself or anything. My appetite had slightly decreased, that's all. I had been super busy and had so much running through my mind.

“I’m fine. I’m not hungry right now. Plus, I bought groceries yesterday,” I told her.

Aja rolled her eyes before walking back out of the room. My focus went back to my laptop. Across the room, my phone started ringing and vibrating on the dresser.

“Hey, boo,” I answered.

“Hey, girl, what are you doing?” Julia asked on the other end.

“Nothing much. On Canva trying to create a new logo so I can make new business cards. How are you? Feels like I haven’t talked to you in forever.”

“I know, girl. I've been so busy. I’m sorry, but I’m okay. Have you talked to Ethan?”

Hearing his name drug me deeper into my feelings. I didn’t necessarily want to break things off with him, but I knew I needed to. I had to put the dick to the side and get my life together.

“No.” I kept my answer short and simple.