Page 85 of Scandalous: Family Ties and Spies

Every beautiful inch of her was defined in sharp, crisp detail. It was as if angels stood behind her, caressing her with their blinding light. Frozen where he sat behind his desk, all he could do was stare at her, completely mesmerized. She was beautiful, and it gave him the urgent need to go after her, pull her into his arms, and simply hold her.

Before he could move, the light and her beautiful shadow vanished behind the closed door of his study. He swallowed the knot that had formed in his throat at his reaction to Amalie standing in the doorway. With a grunt, he shoved his fingers through his hair. Christ almighty. Angels? Where the devil did that nonsense come from?

Valeran rolled his shoulders in self-disgust. He was letting his argument with Jamie cloud his thoughts about Amalie. He’d just asked his wife if she was happy, and she’d reassured him they had the perfect marriage. Somewhere deep inside him, a loud cry raged at him for being so blind. Snorting with disgust at the absurd indictment, he slammed the shout into oblivion. Angels indeed.

Chapter 23

Amalie quietly closed the door to her husband’s study, tears streaming down her cheeks. Only now did she allow herself to release a soft sob. She quickly moved away from the door, knowing Valeran might hear her crying even with the door closed. Over the last several weeks, she’d begun to hope, even believe, Valeran was falling in love with her. But she’d been wrong.

When he’d asked if she was happy, her heart had taken flight that he was about to confess his feelings. In the next breath, Valeran’s use of the word friendship to describe their marriage had almost ripped a cry of sheer agony out of her. Her husband had done exactly what she was afraid he would do, break her heart. If Valeran had taken a mistress, she would have been devastated. But this. Nothing would ever compare to this raw, visceral pain.

Amalie’s stomach lurched with a sickening jolt. She wished she were home at Crianlarich Castle, but her parents were still in town. Swaying where she stood, she closed her eyes, determined not to cry. But she did want to cry. Amalie wanted to sob her heart out, but not here. She would visit her parents. There she could weep until she had no more tears, and then she would return to Somerville House. She refused to let Valeran ever know how devastating his words had been. All she needed was a few hours to collect herself.

If Valeran would only see her as his closest friend and confidante, she would have to be satisfied with that. The thought made her heart twist in her chest. Wiping away the few tears that had slid down her cheeks, Amalie hurried toward the kitchen. She would tell Mrs. Clancy and Mrs. Stubbins they were in charge of the dinner party menu. Amalie knew the women worked closely together and were more than capable of ensuring the evening would be a success.

Defiance suddenly rushed through her limbs. She would triple the guest list. The Earl of Sommerville was about to learn how truly strong his wife was. It would be easy to bear all the noise a room of people made, compared to her current agony.

Less than an hour later, she walked into her parent’s parlor. Her mother stood up to greet her, and the moment their gazes met, she saw her mother pale. Immediately, she opened her arms to Amalie. It was all she needed to run into Lady Patience’s embrace, where deep, hopeless sobs left her shuddering against her mother’s smaller frame.

She didn’t know how long she’d sobbed in her mother’s arms, but slowly her tears ebbed until she was simply heaving small sounds of grief. Amalie heard a deep male voice overhead, and her father’s strong fingers forced her chin upward to study her. The dark scowl on his face said he was almost as furious now as he’d been the night he’d discovered her with Valeran.

“He’s done the one thing I told him nae tae do, lass, and I intend tae make him pay a brutal price for breaking ye heart.”

Horrified by her father’s words, her hands captured his, clinging to him in what she knew the Scotsman would realize was a grip as tight as one she might use to save herself from falling.

“Nae, ye must nae do that, Father. He does nae ken I love him. If ye do anything, he will ken the truth, and that I could nae bear,” she pleaded fervently. Amalie’s heart was screaming with pain as she clung to her father’s hand. When the tall Scotsman winced, she eased her grip.

“He must never ken. No one must ken, nae even Greer. Only the three of us. I ken Valeran dinnae mean to hurt me. It would pain him greatly if he ken he had.”

“I refuse tae let ye live a lie, lass. It’s nae acceptable.” Crianlarich’s voice was as tight as a rubber band, just before it snapped.

“It will nae be a lie,” she whispered, heartsick at the cold reality of her words. “Valeran does care for me. Just nae in the way I want. We have been happy these past two months, and I cannae give up even a small bit of happiness.”

“I dinnae like seeing ye this way, Amalie,” her father said gently as he bent to kiss her brow. “Let us take ye back tae Crianlarich Castle next week. Ye can simply tell him ye miss the Highlands. I doubt he’ll even question ye coming with us.”

“Your father is right, mo nighean luachmhor.” Her mother glanced up at the Laird of Crianlarich and flinched as she met her husband’s gaze. Amalie wiped the dampness from her cheeks as she saw her father glowering at her mother.

“I cannae leave until after the dinner party,” she said with a slight hiccup.

“Dinner party,” Lady Patience cried out softly. “Oh Amalie, please tell me you didn’t listen to Louisa and Constance.”

“Aye, I ken they’re right. I have put it off for too long. Valeran was nae happy about it. When I told him, he acted like an English tyrant forbidding a Scotswoman nae tae do it.” Amalie snorted softly. “As if he thought he had a say in the matter. He even admitted he’d been deliberately finding excuses for us tae refuse any social engagements other than family.”

“I dinnae understand, lass.” Crianlarich wiped a stray tear from Amalie’s face as he stared down at her in puzzlement.

“He said he dinnae like seeing me uncomfortable. Valeran knows noise and even small crowds can overwhelm me sometimes.”

The Crianlarich abruptly straightened upright, his expression almost as stoic as those she’d seen on Valeran’s face. She frowned. When her father narrowed his gaze at her mother, Lady Patience simply arched her eyebrow. With a grunt of frustration, her father returned his gaze to Amalie.

“After this dinner party, ye are so hell-bent on having, ye will come back to Crianlarich Castle. Home is where ye need tae be for a week or two,” her father said firmly. “We’ll go riding every day like we used tae. I doubt the mon will object. If he has noticed ye dinnae like crowds, he’ll ken ye are happier north of the border.”

Amalie nodded her silent acquiescence, and her mother pulled her back into her embrace, where she laid her head on Lady Patience’s shoulder.

“Why don’t you stay for dinner, mo luaidh? I think perhaps Mrs. Lester has developed a little bit of the an dara sealladh. She said we’re having your favorite dish, rumbledethumps, for dinner.”

“Nae, Valeran will ken something is wrong.”

“Nonsense,” her mother said, while her father muttered something about Valeran under his breath. Lady Patience shot a look in his direction that made him shrug sheepishly. “You’ll send a note that explains he was right about the dinner party being overwhelming for you, and you came to me for advice. Then simply say your Father and I insisted you stay for a quiet dinner with just the three of us, which is completely true.”